Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind…
Romans 12:2
I’ve been thinking about the verse a lot lately. Maybe
because if I could change one thing about myself it surprisingly wouldn’t be my
weight… it would be my mind.
My mind is a battlefield. ( thanks Joyce Meyer)
This verse has come up in my Biblical Womanhood studies and
some sermons/ lectures I’ve been listening to on Spiritual warfare. I know
these two don’t go hand in hand but in my life they do. They are both something
that I’ve chosen to not study in the past.
I know there is a battle between good and evil going on out there (&
around me so it appears lately) and personally sometimes I would prefer to stay
in my little bubble with my fingers in my ears rocking in the corner.
Yet sometimes I feel like I have to get up and fight. Maybe
I don’t have a “quiet and gentle spirit” for a reason, someone in Oz once
called me a Warrior, what the heck does that mean, should I be thankful I don’t
have a husband or kids to think about right now while I get my junk in order?
People used to tell me how strong I was … am I? did God make me that way for a
reason? So many thoughts and questions
swirling around in my head at all times it’s exhausting. I just want to yell
too much change, too much change!!!!
I’ve thought so much this week about the “ would you want to
date you? Or have your future children date someone like you” I kept saying
NOOO then proceeded to write down this
long list of all the reasons why I would
never date me and never be good enough for a Godly man…
It says that satan is the Accuser (Rev 12:10) and the Father
of Lies (John 8:44) well I turned back a few pages in my journal and saw a
list, a giant long list of lies that I believe about myself…. Some of them have
been there since childhood others I didn’t even know existed. It made me so sad
to see that I don’t believe some basic truths that are listed in the bible.
Instead I have this warped view of myself and assume that everyone else sees me
that way too……Which is another lie from the pit of hell as my friend Jenna
would say.
So here I am going way way back to basics and trying to
“renew” my mind. I need to change my way of thinking on many a topic, not just
biblical womanhood. Deep down I’m thankful that God didn’t leave it up to me to
change myself.
Romans 12: 1-2
I heard (does listening to an online lecture mean I heard
it? I couldn’t think of the correct word to use here) Mark Driscoll say Satans
lies don’t have to be true to destroy, they just have to be believed. What lies
do you believe about yourself right now?
