I signed up to do Jon Acuff's 30 days of hustle. Mostly because I did his start challenge and royally failed, and now God has given me no choice but to get my life in order health wise. So why now actually participate in his thing.
So my Hustle Goal for the next 30 Days is " To be more responsible with my health, fiances, and relationships.
I can do that for 30 days right?!?
Day 2's challenge was to think about a WHY. WHY is this my goal?
My weight is obvious. I must lose weight for my heart, high blood pressure, kidneys, eyes (I'm learning to rock the glasses) and ovaries. I no longer have any other choice. Well besides stroke or heart attack. As weird as it may sound, the thought of not dying from a fat man disease isn't what keeps me from eating pizza at the moment. Its not the thought of having someone fall in love with me, its not finding Mr right and living happily ever after. Its not my dreams of wearing a nice swim suit next time I'm in Australia either. Its Babies. I want to have children if that's a possibility, adopt or even be a foster parent with kids only in my life for the time.
Why do I want to get my health in order? Babies. Or the possibilities of babies. That's the end goal, a family. A healthy family.
( I know that most likely a husband will come before this, which may be a pretty rad reward but for the first time in my life im not trying to loose weight for a man...... and that feels really good) (( I also am well aware that I may never get married or fall in love again. That doesn't mean I can't foster ;) ))
Mental health is another huge why. I'm currently off all anxiety and Anti-Depressants. Its a scary feeling knowing that at any moment I could just freak out. I hardly got out of bed this weekend and spent the majority of it trying to force myself to get out of bed. This morning at work I threw my phone clear across the room in front of everyone in a fit of rage, which wasn't the wisest but thankfully its been okay for the most part. I can slowly feel my self isolating again but maybe that's what I need right now. To be alone. I'm just letting God handle it. I usually roll my eyes when people use that term, I gave it to God, but I did. Now I'm just taking it one day at a time, sometimes minutes at a time. It is also shocking to feel again. The good and the bad, I'm feeling it. I cried at a movie, and laughed out loud at a book. Its interesting how sometimes to shut down the bad, the medicines strip away the good.
Day 2's challenge was to think about a WHY. WHY is this my goal?
My weight is obvious. I must lose weight for my heart, high blood pressure, kidneys, eyes (I'm learning to rock the glasses) and ovaries. I no longer have any other choice. Well besides stroke or heart attack. As weird as it may sound, the thought of not dying from a fat man disease isn't what keeps me from eating pizza at the moment. Its not the thought of having someone fall in love with me, its not finding Mr right and living happily ever after. Its not my dreams of wearing a nice swim suit next time I'm in Australia either. Its Babies. I want to have children if that's a possibility, adopt or even be a foster parent with kids only in my life for the time.
Why do I want to get my health in order? Babies. Or the possibilities of babies. That's the end goal, a family. A healthy family.
( I know that most likely a husband will come before this, which may be a pretty rad reward but for the first time in my life im not trying to loose weight for a man...... and that feels really good) (( I also am well aware that I may never get married or fall in love again. That doesn't mean I can't foster ;) ))
Mental health is another huge why. I'm currently off all anxiety and Anti-Depressants. Its a scary feeling knowing that at any moment I could just freak out. I hardly got out of bed this weekend and spent the majority of it trying to force myself to get out of bed. This morning at work I threw my phone clear across the room in front of everyone in a fit of rage, which wasn't the wisest but thankfully its been okay for the most part. I can slowly feel my self isolating again but maybe that's what I need right now. To be alone. I'm just letting God handle it. I usually roll my eyes when people use that term, I gave it to God, but I did. Now I'm just taking it one day at a time, sometimes minutes at a time. It is also shocking to feel again. The good and the bad, I'm feeling it. I cried at a movie, and laughed out loud at a book. Its interesting how sometimes to shut down the bad, the medicines strip away the good.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/comics-that-capture-the-frustrations-of-depression?sub=2548031_1543709
Finances- I blow all my money on food. It's very simple. Food is my friend and food costs money.
I need to pay for my trip to Chicago for my Uncles Wedding next month. I also need to look nice,and if I keep succeeding I will need a new dress or two in smaller sizes :)
Also I'm going to Sydney in October come hail or high water.
not to mention bills and general adult crap like debt. ;)
but mostly sydney, finances must be in order so I can go back.
Last but not least relationships. Not that I have a few different boyfriends, I don't have any :( I'm talking about true friendships. I once read, heard, or saw something that basically said be the friendyou need. I want to genuallu pray for and encourage my friends. I want to not be so wrapped up in my depression issues not to be available when they need me. I want to love them as Christ loves me. I want to take into account what it means to be brothers and sisters in Christ. God gave me a big emotional heart(and everything else) and I need to use that love and mercy I feel. Now hide it away because saying you were on my heart today makes me sound like a weirdo.
So there you have it.
My "whys"
If you read my blog often you may be waiting for a weightloss update. If not your welcome to start :)
16.4 lbs down in May.
