Biggest Glee Loser and one more wedding!

Things have been so weird right now!

The job search is going alright..... Ive had a few interviews and leads... I know God knows what he's doing.

I'm currently watching the biggest loser trying my hardest not to go to the fridge for some munchies....
I didn't get to go to the casting call in austin though I seriously thought about it... I know I can do it at home!
Speaking of weight loss I got on the scale yesterday and enjoyed what I saw! being 249 was exciting! it may be just one lb but its still under 250!

Glee was super exciting this evening! Always so uplifting and encouraging me to sing again!
Speaking of singing! I went and checked out Austin Harmony Chorus last night! It was pretty fun!

Stephanie's wedding is in about a month  so Im super looking forward to going home and seeing people! I may even have a plus one- just a friend but still it would be nice to not go to another wedding alone!

Tears of Awesomeness

If you know me you know I'm emotional.

If you've been around me in the past year you know that my emotions mixed with my hormones = crazy tears

I've done nothing this week but lay around and cry.
I did go for a walk a few times..... But came back and proceeded to cry lol


Tonight while watching the Emmys I cried again! Melissa McCarthy won best lead actress in a comedy for mike and Molly! It was refreshing to see her with all those beautiful tiny actresses :)




Austin is such a big city but is quite lonely sometimes!

Who cries at the Pride Parade?

I went to the Pride Parade with my aunt on Sat. She supports me in everything I do so why not go with her? 
We were having a grand ol time clapping and cheering... I was trying to figure out out I could take lessons on how to be hot by MISS Drag Queen Texas... some of those men/women were way prettier than me! Then I see a sign that said " we fought in silence but served with pride." Immediately the tears start falling... I of course try to hide/stop it and by that time my aunt had noticed and smile and gave me some water. I said " What straight girl cries at a pride parade?" " I can't believe I'm crying" Something inside me just churned! I wanted to go thank each and ever one of those men and women in uniform! They were fighting to keep us safe and free and had to lie about who they are. it just baffles me. I thought about my aunt who was in the arming, lying saying I'm straight when everyone knows shes not..... how crazy

Later that night I was at dinner with my aunt and her friends when I said something about church. A friend asked me if I was religious.... I hate that question, because the definition is so different to everyone... so I just said "yes. I'm a Christian" suddlenly the whole bar was staring at me... it felt like an hour but was only about 30 secs...........to break the silence I started laughing and said but I'm not going to hit you over the head with a bible... I'm not a bible thumper, then my aunt jumped in and everyone laughed. I love my aunt's friends. They are always so welcoming and include me with out making me feel like the "straight one" but in that moment I felt like I had a glimpse of what it must feel like for them sometimes. To be so judged left me feeling vulnerable and bare. I could never live my life like that... it would drive me crazy...
Which brought me back to the parade and the people walking in it and maybe why my heart hurt for them but in a oddly happy way. Believe what you want but I felt like God gave me my tender heart for a reason and allowed me to feel something special for the men in women who are still out there protecting our country while serving in silence.

DIY- To do List

I am so going to make this!

Today stunk!

so I've been feeling like crap lately.... My female issues are back and causing a great deal of pain so I haven't felt like doing much besides going to work...

I decided I needed to get out of the house so I called my new friend Jade and we decided to meet at Magnoila Cafe. Then my buddy Jaron called and let me know about his show downtown so I thought hay. might as well go out and see him after I met up with Jade.... WRONG! On my way out of the restaurant my mouth started to itch and I felt my neck get hot. Then I started feeling queasy... by the time I got home I had a full blown rash on my neck everything and everything itched. After 30  mins of searching and talking to my mom I finally found the benedryl and settled in for the night. .... Then the vomiting started. I couldn't keep down anything not even water.... after getting up and down most of the night Jingles and I just made a pallet in the bathroom floor and passed out. I tend to act like I'm 5 yeaers old when I'm sick.......

Needless to say it was a rough night! I needed to go mail a package to Mr. and Mrs. Bridges in ALASKA but didn't feel good so I thought I'd do it online... Wrong....
after 2 trips and one major hissy fit in the post office I finally got back home and proceeded to go right back to sleep.

Then I get a phone call from work. YAY I thought... they need me to come in.  There hasn't been much opportunity for hours this week and Lord knows I need the money. Basically it was them saying unfortunately they no longer need me but that someone from the front office would be in contact sometime this month if they were hiring again. These people slightly filled me full of crap with allowing me to think I could move to the front office. I know its not their fault...... Big company bought out small company junk... they even fired a woman who had been there 15 years....

Today just stunk.

I'm going to go cry.

I would normally go eat....
but I'm broke and sick.

job interviews here we come!

My Best Friend's Wedding- Abby

When I started 5th grade I was excited about one thing.... being in my moms school. Never in a million years did I think that the skinny blonde girl at the desk next to me would be my best friend.

Abby and I had a great childhood full of food, nsync, dance parties and most importantly for me - MAKEOVERS.

We were evening going to go to the NYSYNC concert together  in jr high but sadly she got mono from the water fountain at tennis camp..... seriously she wasn't kissing anyone it was the water fountain :( I ask my mom if Justin would autograph a picture for her because she was so sick.... mom said she doubted we could find him....Maybe If we had she would be marring him in stead of matt....

anyways.....


We stayed close through most of school but  grew apart in the highschool days. Lucky for me I knew she would always be there for me no matter what. She came to most of my shows and even did her time out at the ag farm with me, and if you know Abby that wasn't her thing back then. She would come to my defense when ever needed... shes smaller but 10 days older than me and a spitfirr, so its like a big sister. One of the memories I have was of her screaming and cussing out a friend at sonic cause he was rude to me, to this day he is still scared of her.

Abby and I lived in Austin for awhile at the same time. It was during this time that we grew  the closest. Personally it was the worst times in my life and Abby was right there to hold my hand and feed me Guacamole and Alfredo.  Growing up was so hard but it was made easier having her there.

Abby and Matt blessed me with a laptop when it was time to go to Australia and at that point I new she would marry him. Apparently it was his idea and any Man who loves abby so much he loves her friends was the one. He made her laugh like I've never seen her laugh and we all know abby can laugh.

I realize that I'm writing like shes on her death bed or something..... I know this is a new beginning!

Hopefully I can make it through the day without crying and ruining my makeup. Speaking of makeup...... I finally did it. 15 years later I applied my makeup by myself and it looked exactly how Abby did it. We were a little proud last night at the rehearsal dinner HAHA

Once you go Big, you never go Twig!-

http://www.ology.com/fashion-and-beauty/tlc%E2%80%99s-big-sexy%E2%80%9D-next-big-thing-fashion

 A Plus Size reality show! HECK YEAH I'LL WATCH

SOOooooo I thought the show was great! Maybe a little too much for me at times but if I had the confidence they did maybe I'd do the crazy stuff too. Also maybe if I had their paychecks!

I think its great that these women are spreading the word about plus size fashion. I also liked the message about not sitting at home waiting for life to happen for them and getting off the couch. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this show in the coming months......

did you know when I was younger I would dream of being a plus size model? I even wrote to MTV's Made... Ive never admitted that to anyone :)