Hillsong. Holy spirit. God. Home. Passion i don't know what it is but it ruined me :D
How can we sit with our arms folded while we sing about the Birth of our Lord. Trust me I didn't want to stand up. Uhhhhhh I didn't want to have the whole congregation looking at my big rear end but I couldnt sit another second! I laughed at myself during joy to the world, why I was bouncing and moving. Silly me didn't care.
I worship how I worship....
I thought of my mom this morning. She used to get super excited during Christmas songs and patriotic music and I would be like "mom stop moving", or "do you not know your the only one clapping?" or "why are you crying it's just a song." Thanks mom for being embarrassing yet planting the seeds of worship in me, no matter how much I wanted you to stop!
I realize I make my FBC congregation to sound like fuddy duddy. They really aren't!!!! I think out pews are too comfortable because I know the Holy Spirit runs through this place. I love these people and am in no way saying the way each person chooses to Worship is right or wrong. I'm just saying that for me personally today I couldn't sit still. Next week I may not stand at all.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Where do I fit God?
okay God
Where do I fit in?
Somewhere in-between Snyder and Sydney I guess.
People told me when I left I wouldn't be the same when I came back. They warn you at school that home is often a battlefield. well I sure don't fit in on this battle ground anymore.
I had to grow up and be slightly independent in Sydney. I had to learn how not to lean on mom or g-ma my friends or family. just God. I learned how to go to the dr alone. eat alone. walk alone. fend for myself ect. God knew exactly what he was doing allowing me to go through this past season "alone" slowly learning how to lean solely on HIM.
well I'm back in the real world. Out of my little bubble and now realize I can't relate to people. I spent so much time focusing on fixing myself and growing ect I must have forgotten how to be human in the real world. Funny.
People keep telling me I'm different. I know that. I would hope that 5 months with intense spiritual classes would do that to someone. I'm glad I've changed. whether you think its for the better or worse I'm still glad.
Many of you keep asking me how I'm doing and I say okay. I'm not good and I'm not bad. I'm just okay. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I'm just hanging out getting trapped and lost in trying to please everyone from snyder to sydney. Its an awesome awesome pain in my neck, honestly I wouldn't want to change it.
My prayer is that through all the "changes", "your different's", and awkwardness that the people I come across would see a small glimpse of God light in me.
Even if I don't fit in.
Where do I fit in?
Somewhere in-between Snyder and Sydney I guess.
People told me when I left I wouldn't be the same when I came back. They warn you at school that home is often a battlefield. well I sure don't fit in on this battle ground anymore.
I had to grow up and be slightly independent in Sydney. I had to learn how not to lean on mom or g-ma my friends or family. just God. I learned how to go to the dr alone. eat alone. walk alone. fend for myself ect. God knew exactly what he was doing allowing me to go through this past season "alone" slowly learning how to lean solely on HIM.
well I'm back in the real world. Out of my little bubble and now realize I can't relate to people. I spent so much time focusing on fixing myself and growing ect I must have forgotten how to be human in the real world. Funny.
People keep telling me I'm different. I know that. I would hope that 5 months with intense spiritual classes would do that to someone. I'm glad I've changed. whether you think its for the better or worse I'm still glad.
Many of you keep asking me how I'm doing and I say okay. I'm not good and I'm not bad. I'm just okay. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I'm just hanging out getting trapped and lost in trying to please everyone from snyder to sydney. Its an awesome awesome pain in my neck, honestly I wouldn't want to change it.
My prayer is that through all the "changes", "your different's", and awkwardness that the people I come across would see a small glimpse of God light in me.
Even if I don't fit in.
THEN
NOW
Change
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Summer Summer Summer time.... I mean Christmas :)
welp Its summer break for us Hillsong College kiddos.... Sadly I'm in Texas... where its abnormally cold :)
So what have I been up to?
Adjusting to life back in Snyder.
Its crazy to think that I could come back and fit right in. I for sure don't. Probably never will but thats okay!
God is making it easier for me to drop everything in the home I love and continue to follow his plan for my life! He has a funny way of doing things in my book.
I sang on the square with our praise team which was quite southern and I got to sing Winter Snow.
Here is a craptasticly awesome video
Small town Greatness!!!!
Glad my people came out to support me!
So what have I been up to?
Adjusting to life back in Snyder.
Its crazy to think that I could come back and fit right in. I for sure don't. Probably never will but thats okay!
God is making it easier for me to drop everything in the home I love and continue to follow his plan for my life! He has a funny way of doing things in my book.
I sang on the square with our praise team which was quite southern and I got to sing Winter Snow.
Here is a craptasticly awesome video
Monday, November 22, 2010
Thanksgivin in Oz
Yesterday could not have gone better if I had planned it.
It was great!
Words can't really express the love and joy I feel for the people that I do life with here at HILC. God has truly blessed us with each other.
Proverbs 17:17
I was so worried about Thanksgiving. I was excited when the idea came up but I also had some mulah at that point. The closer it got and the more people got invited and ideas got bigger the more worried I got. I mean everyone thinks I'm the best cook ever because im there friend and they love me lol. I was like uhhhhh maybe I can't pull thanksgiving off. Sunday was filled with crazy tears and emotions and me being like nope this day is going to be crap. The thought of me having a "fake" one because we wouldn't be with our family had me all torn on deep down... but I'm mama Sarah. I can't be scared. I'm tough.
Anyways I put my feelings and tears aside and prayed long and hard about it and BAM
I woke up yesterday with the same little kid feelings of thanksgiving! I waited for the boys to awake and bounced my happy self into 272 to make the magic happen! Boy did it! They were all, well mostly, keen to help clean and so so so helpful! I told mom last night that God took over big time :)
David was like Mr Thanksgivng! he's going to be a super hubby/dad one day... just saying girls----scoop him up... Same for Jared. We did some damage in the kitchen!
Just when I was getting discouraged with the food to people ratio charlie swooped in and the boys headed to Coles only to come back with even more yummy goodness
something about " its not thanksgiving unless we have leftovers" we did and they were amazing!
Then the girls got back from the beach ( RED) and added the girly touch to the table then everyone else showed up and we DUG IN!!!
I know it may sound dumb to you but throwing a Thanksgiving for people who haven't had one or its their first from home was kinda a big deal for me. These people have held my hand through alot. They delt with me tears, fears, Late night hospital visits, countless trips to coles, CRAZY mood swings, brokeness, hormones, medicines, surgery's, ect This was the least I could do to show everyone how Thankful I really am for them. The people that God placed here wasn't an accident, well maybe a few of us ;) but I feel as though we are a family.
My Heart is so ready to be in Snyder but something tells me that won't be home forever and that scares me.
It was great!
Words can't really express the love and joy I feel for the people that I do life with here at HILC. God has truly blessed us with each other.
Proverbs 17:17
I was so worried about Thanksgiving. I was excited when the idea came up but I also had some mulah at that point. The closer it got and the more people got invited and ideas got bigger the more worried I got. I mean everyone thinks I'm the best cook ever because im there friend and they love me lol. I was like uhhhhh maybe I can't pull thanksgiving off. Sunday was filled with crazy tears and emotions and me being like nope this day is going to be crap. The thought of me having a "fake" one because we wouldn't be with our family had me all torn on deep down... but I'm mama Sarah. I can't be scared. I'm tough.
Anyways I put my feelings and tears aside and prayed long and hard about it and BAM
I woke up yesterday with the same little kid feelings of thanksgiving! I waited for the boys to awake and bounced my happy self into 272 to make the magic happen! Boy did it! They were all, well mostly, keen to help clean and so so so helpful! I told mom last night that God took over big time :)
David was like Mr Thanksgivng! he's going to be a super hubby/dad one day... just saying girls----scoop him up... Same for Jared. We did some damage in the kitchen!
Just when I was getting discouraged with the food to people ratio charlie swooped in and the boys headed to Coles only to come back with even more yummy goodness
something about " its not thanksgiving unless we have leftovers" we did and they were amazing!
Then the girls got back from the beach ( RED) and added the girly touch to the table then everyone else showed up and we DUG IN!!!
I know it may sound dumb to you but throwing a Thanksgiving for people who haven't had one or its their first from home was kinda a big deal for me. These people have held my hand through alot. They delt with me tears, fears, Late night hospital visits, countless trips to coles, CRAZY mood swings, brokeness, hormones, medicines, surgery's, ect This was the least I could do to show everyone how Thankful I really am for them. The people that God placed here wasn't an accident, well maybe a few of us ;) but I feel as though we are a family.
My Heart is so ready to be in Snyder but something tells me that won't be home forever and that scares me.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Self image
I had to sit through a lecture from a friend- a skinny one btw -about weight loss for guys.
Hello im not loosing weight for a man.
Been there done that and bought that t shirt.
10th grade,2 weeks of Adkins torture (no carb no cokes) and I finally got mr perfect to ask me out:) it was prolly my Charm Or that i was a BEAST at poultry judging that made me so intriguing! Not my awesome body - 20 lbs and new pair of jeans that made him take the bait!
anyways 45 mins later we broke up at the football game and I had a hot dog, doritos, and a vanilla cream dr pepper waiting to console me ( I broke up with him though) I think I tried it once in college at SFA. ohh maybe if i was smaller hed like me....
Sadly I'm a grouch when I dont eat and ended up not even liking the dude.
Anyways point being I'm not 16, or some naive girl right out of hs longing for someone to love me.
It says in the bible that we are to treat our bodys a temples! If that's the case my temple is a giant greasy-cheesy dr pepper tower lol
I feel as though God has said here is a jump start to a healthier you now keep going.
Did you know someone ask me if the surgery I had was gastric bypass? My answer was hunny I'd be a heck of a lot smaller if that was the case.
So I've thought and prayed about it to make sure there wernt some " oh if I was skinny I'd meet my husband" crap going on in my head.
Top 10 reasons I'm loosing weight!
1. I'm a broke college kid and everything is more expensive in oz
2. I'm surrounded by non Americans who don't live off grease like i used to.
3. Vegetarian things are yummy
4. We walk alot and I don't like being the girl huffing and puffing
5. I'm using the "funny fat girl" thing as an excuse to not fulfill the purpose and plans God has for me.
6. I Want to have babies one day
7. Life without fast food, Mexican food, and cheddar cheese is one of great sadness but less poundage ;)
8. There aren't clothes that fit in this country :)
9. I have more energy
10. Jesus told me to:)
The pressure to be what the world perceives as beautiful will always be a struggle for me, most likely the rest of the world struggles with it to. I'm not saying I don't have body/self confidence issues, I guess I'm airing out that stuff an trying to become a more Godly woman with the way I view myself!
Hello im not loosing weight for a man.
Been there done that and bought that t shirt.
10th grade,2 weeks of Adkins torture (no carb no cokes) and I finally got mr perfect to ask me out:) it was prolly my Charm Or that i was a BEAST at poultry judging that made me so intriguing! Not my awesome body - 20 lbs and new pair of jeans that made him take the bait!
anyways 45 mins later we broke up at the football game and I had a hot dog, doritos, and a vanilla cream dr pepper waiting to console me ( I broke up with him though) I think I tried it once in college at SFA. ohh maybe if i was smaller hed like me....
Sadly I'm a grouch when I dont eat and ended up not even liking the dude.
Anyways point being I'm not 16, or some naive girl right out of hs longing for someone to love me.
It says in the bible that we are to treat our bodys a temples! If that's the case my temple is a giant greasy-cheesy dr pepper tower lol
I feel as though God has said here is a jump start to a healthier you now keep going.
Did you know someone ask me if the surgery I had was gastric bypass? My answer was hunny I'd be a heck of a lot smaller if that was the case.
So I've thought and prayed about it to make sure there wernt some " oh if I was skinny I'd meet my husband" crap going on in my head.
Top 10 reasons I'm loosing weight!
1. I'm a broke college kid and everything is more expensive in oz
2. I'm surrounded by non Americans who don't live off grease like i used to.
3. Vegetarian things are yummy
4. We walk alot and I don't like being the girl huffing and puffing
5. I'm using the "funny fat girl" thing as an excuse to not fulfill the purpose and plans God has for me.
6. I Want to have babies one day
7. Life without fast food, Mexican food, and cheddar cheese is one of great sadness but less poundage ;)
8. There aren't clothes that fit in this country :)
9. I have more energy
10. Jesus told me to:)
The pressure to be what the world perceives as beautiful will always be a struggle for me, most likely the rest of the world struggles with it to. I'm not saying I don't have body/self confidence issues, I guess I'm airing out that stuff an trying to become a more Godly woman with the way I view myself!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Hillsong Live Album Recording
So much is going on in my head today...
Words can't express how lucky I feel to have been a part of a gathering of believers like last night.
I can't help but think about the people who it will reach. Kids in their rooms, People in Church, Teens in their Cars, the 20 somethings who feel lost in the gap ect....
To be there was a dream of mine, not to be on the platform (which would be cool) but just to be.
In rehearsal when I saw and heard Jill sing awakening with her preggo belly I almost lost it. The desires of my heart have changed and grown so much in the past few months.
I wish Jordan and Casey could have been with me at one point I almost called them but it was the middle of the night and life can't stop evertime I get excited and wish they were here.
I yelled in Davids ear all night... He deserves and award.
I have that lost feeling again, like I'm stuck in between Snyder and Sydney and don't know which to call home. I'm calling both of them home at the moment but don't want to leave either one. I'm sure its just a feeling that will pass. I should feel at home wherever I am because I have Jesus :D
Its hot today so I'm letting the Fan blow dry my hair for me.
Grad ball is coming up and I don't know if I'm excited or not. There is a large part of me who is over joyed at the fact that I have to get all dressed up and get to go hang with my friends. Where azzz there is another part of me who doesn't want to go at all. Im trying to focus on the fact that this is one of the toughest seasons I've been through and I should jump at the chance to celebrate :)
Money- still praying for some kind of Financial miracle<<<<
If you were expecting something profound sorry, I'm trying to clear out my brain before I get to class.
TEXAS in 18 days
Words can't express how lucky I feel to have been a part of a gathering of believers like last night.
I can't help but think about the people who it will reach. Kids in their rooms, People in Church, Teens in their Cars, the 20 somethings who feel lost in the gap ect....
To be there was a dream of mine, not to be on the platform (which would be cool) but just to be.
In rehearsal when I saw and heard Jill sing awakening with her preggo belly I almost lost it. The desires of my heart have changed and grown so much in the past few months.
I wish Jordan and Casey could have been with me at one point I almost called them but it was the middle of the night and life can't stop evertime I get excited and wish they were here.
I yelled in Davids ear all night... He deserves and award.
I have that lost feeling again, like I'm stuck in between Snyder and Sydney and don't know which to call home. I'm calling both of them home at the moment but don't want to leave either one. I'm sure its just a feeling that will pass. I should feel at home wherever I am because I have Jesus :D
Its hot today so I'm letting the Fan blow dry my hair for me.
Grad ball is coming up and I don't know if I'm excited or not. There is a large part of me who is over joyed at the fact that I have to get all dressed up and get to go hang with my friends. Where azzz there is another part of me who doesn't want to go at all. Im trying to focus on the fact that this is one of the toughest seasons I've been through and I should jump at the chance to celebrate :)
Money- still praying for some kind of Financial miracle<<<<
If you were expecting something profound sorry, I'm trying to clear out my brain before I get to class.
TEXAS in 18 days
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Mens Conference!
Since high school I've been one of the Guys or so it seems! So of course I wasn't surprised that God has once again placed me in life and fellowship with dudes... Girls to but this week is about Men
This week is mens conference.
God has blessed me with some amazing guy friends who challenge me in my everyday life. From the moment I got sick and even before they have opened their door and kitchen to me( and everyone else for that matter)
God has placed each one of them on my heart at a different time this week and it's been awesome to pray for them and encourage them this week. Im not good with words but I can cook. I can't tell them how much I appreciate their friendship but I can make some brownies! I have a hard time asking them how they are when it comes to their lives but I can cook and pray lol!!!
I pray that they feel valued each and everyday. So i as thinking you could help pray to.
Pray for their futures!
Pray for financial provision
Pray for wisdom
I pray that they have a massive encounter with God that will change their life radically! That the Lord would reveal himself and that they would be better equipped to be the Godly men they already are!!!
John
Jared
Tory
David
Charlie
Each one has specific callings and purposes on their life and I'm so glad that I get to be on the journey with them for a little bit of time!
This week is mens conference.
God has blessed me with some amazing guy friends who challenge me in my everyday life. From the moment I got sick and even before they have opened their door and kitchen to me( and everyone else for that matter)
God has placed each one of them on my heart at a different time this week and it's been awesome to pray for them and encourage them this week. Im not good with words but I can cook. I can't tell them how much I appreciate their friendship but I can make some brownies! I have a hard time asking them how they are when it comes to their lives but I can cook and pray lol!!!
I pray that they feel valued each and everyday. So i as thinking you could help pray to.
Pray for their futures!
Pray for financial provision
Pray for wisdom
I pray that they have a massive encounter with God that will change their life radically! That the Lord would reveal himself and that they would be better equipped to be the Godly men they already are!!!
John
Jared
Tory
David
Charlie
Each one has specific callings and purposes on their life and I'm so glad that I get to be on the journey with them for a little bit of time!
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