Friday, October 29, 2010

Practice Journal- Assessment-

        Piece (song) or exercise
This song/exercise will help me improve in the following areas
1. Performing Exercise
1. Help me not look so terrified on stage
2. I run to You- Lady Antebellum
2. Help me to harmonise with a male singer
3. Bust Your Windows- Glee
3. performance/ range
4. Mighty Fortress- Christy Nockels
4. Its a power song with a lot of Range
5. Vegas- Sara Barilles
5. The song is the complete opposite of me.

At the beginning of the semester we had to make a practice goals and add songs to our repertoire ect. Then we had to journal every time we practiced and how we improved or didn't! Then at the end of the semester ( NOW) we were to write a 300 word summary of our time with out practice journals. I'm posting mine as a blog because it was a very honest paper for me to write. It made me look back at myself from the beginning up until now. I went back and read a paper I wrote on my goals for the semester. I haven't accomplished any of them but thats okay because I've gained so much more!

 I know my practice journal looks a little different than everyone else’s. To be honest I was so excited at the beginning of the semester to do this. I carefully thought out all of my songs and picked things that I really thought would help.  Looking back through my notebook/journal I remembered how fun it was to practice in the beginning and how I looked forward to the quiet time with the music. My plans were to learn theory and bust out non country songs and just go with this full on.  
Then I got sick. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sing at all after the ultrasound and results unless I was in my room singing songs about healing and declaring them over my life. Looking back at it now I wish I wouldn’t have let Satan take the music from me in this hard time of my life. I didn’t want to sing, I didn’t want to practice, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. When I felt well enough to go to church I couldn’t even worship, nothing came out of my mouth but prayerful tears. I don’t know why my voice left. Maybe it was Satan or maybe God just needed to deal with me in other ways. My worship time had become something very different and so much more than a song.  After the surgery and as I slowly recovered my voice slowly started coming back. I wanted to sing again. My band were some of the most supportive people through the whole ordeal. I remember the day I came back to class and sang “I want to know what love is” one of them was like “oh yeah I forgot you could sing, Im just used to you being sick.” Looking back over my journal and semester I feel like that’s a statement to my whole semester.   I’m not happy with the way my practice journal looks, but I’m not going to fabricate it for a grade. I realized the other day after a conversation with Mary that I’m not Surgery Sarah, and I shouldn’t let this semester define my whole time here. I thought about the girl who auditioned and the girl who actually got on stage and sang “I want to know what love is” for my performance. They were two completely different people. So even though my practice journal doesn’t show improvement or proper competency I know that I learned more this semester than I ever could have dreamed but not the way you or I thought or expected.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Small town Girl

Feelin a little homesick today! Its the weather :)

One of my dearest friends needs me and I don't know how to be there for them. Its so weird being so far away... sometimes phones and skype and facebook don't do it justice!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A childrens Story

Sarah went TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH so she could have LOVE TEAR DOWN THE WALLS around her heart :)- a Childrens Story

Once upon a time lived a girl named Sarah.
She had a friend ( just a friend) named Jordan and they liked Hillsong.

She stole some music from his computer and put it on a CD which Jordan named Sarah's Future... It was a nice CD full of songs she liked to listen to and enjoyed singing, but that was about all. Sarah loved to sing but she thought she wasn't good enough to sing songs like that.....

Jordan got ask to sing a song in his church service and asked Sarah to help out. The song was called "to the
ends of the earth" ( also on Sarahs future CD) Sarah silently sang prayed those lyrics over and over again.....

Later Sarah got her own music and wanted Jordan to listen to it. A song called "Tear down the walls" sparked a conversation ( she doesn't remember the exact convo but just that it took place) anyways there is a line that says "Let Love Tear Down These Walls" in the middle of the converation/car ride Sarah silently prayed that God would tear down her walls, she had alot of them.......

God sent Sarah to the ends of the Earth, she is now in Sydney Australia studying at Hillsong International Leadership College.
She auditioned with a song from her "Sarahs Future" CD.

She got really really sick and had to have surgery far away from home and most of the songs on that CD meant something different but comforted her just the same.

She was in a church service last night and they sang "tear down the walls" full of tears and joy she praised her Lord because he had torn down some walls she just hadn't realized it.......

God had given her everything shes prayed for, sang, declared, ect.... all in His own time and His own way.

I'm learning more about God putting people in our lives at specific times and planting seeds and giving us small glimpses into out future. Jordan wasn't the only one who has helped me on my journey by any means but hes played a big part in it. God used Jordan and Casey and Jim to remind me I had a voice at different times in different ways. A gift from the Lord that I should use to Glorify him!

Last night standing there worshiping to that stupid song I was so overcome with Joy. it had been so long I'd forgotten I had ask God to help break some walls down but he didn't forget, hes slowly been molding me and shaping me all along

God Knew and he Knows

He knew from the moment I stepped on that plane that this would be a HELLISH semester.........but He also knows that its just for a Season and that I can handle it with him guiding the way. His arms haven't left me and never will for that matter.
People keep telling me that satan was so scared that he just threw everything at me and attacked and still is... well you know what he should be scared.

Because I'm Sarah and I'm a beautiful, strong, confident warrior of the Lords and I can do anything with Christ because he strengthens me.

Jordan doesn't know but Sarah is in the process of making a Jordans Future CD... We'll see what happens :)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Warrior Chick!

do you know what I mean when I say that everyday I wake up and feel like there is a battle going on?
To be able to get out of bed, to look nice, to not hop on an airplane and say I QUIT and go back to my comfort zone? Its not like that every day though, some days I wake up armed and ready to face the big city! I want to be better equipped so Im starting a book called.......

Rising strong, beautiful, and confident!
 Through his love and blessings He has reminded me that I'm loved and valued and that I too am beautiful, strong and with some added work I can be confident! I am warrior princess Sarah who can do anything that the Lord wants me to without fear because I am HIS.

I'm going to try to blog about the book as I read each chapter. Its so good I want to soak it in but who knows I may just finish it off tonight! 

This month is all about  falling in Love with myself. I'm so tired of listening to what the world says about beauty. "Let your light shine"... I'm going to focus on that for awhile!

Charm is deceptive and Beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised! Proverbs 31

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Southern state of mind- update

I've started a blog today about 17 times but just don't know what to say that's not negative. Negative nancy is what some peeps back home called me behind my back, and they were right most of the time. So I'm really trying to change my attitude and renew my mind.
Romans 12:2

Still no job! But I know the Lord has the right one for me! 
I've had some amazing up lifting conversations and prayers in the past week, so I know God is at work'

Someone blessed me with 200 in my bank account, praise Jesus! It will be a nice start to getting me off suspension! God is our ultimate provider and could still use prayers for his provision!

I got incredibly down this week with everything that's going on! In the midst of one of my prayers God reminded me not to put him in a box. Just because I'm not learning what I thought I was supposed to be learning about doesn't mean I'm not learning what God wants me to!

Prayer! Lots of us need it! Kids all over this place are getting attacked! Does anyone know of any good books on spiritual warfare?

Casey told me to read Isaiah 41- it's been such a passage to study!

Darius Rucker has a new album out, I don't have it but i have the song called southern state of mind- here are the lyrics! It's so cute and such a fun song!

I was up in New York City just the other week 
You should've seen the waitress face when I ordered sweet tea 
She said we don't have that here and I apologized 
I said please forgive me I'm in a southern state of mind

And those girls out in California they don't understand 
They don't like it when I hold the door or when I say yes ma'am 
They act like I done something wrong and they give me the evil eye 
I say honey I'm sorry I'm in a southern state of mind

I could be anywhere 
In my heart I'm always there 
Where they drink sweet tea and they raise you to be polite 
No changin' who I am 
That's the way I've always been 
No matter what state I'm in 
I'm in a southern state of mind

I'm always walkin' 'round tellin' everybody hi 
Just a wavin' at the strangers in the cars passin' by 
Some people may look at me and say that boy just ain't right 
Hey y'all I ain't crazy I'm in a southern state of mind

Repeat Chorus

You can see it in the clothes I wear you can hear it when I talk
Ball cap, boots and jeans and a little southern drawl 
I could be up in Ohio or back home in Caroline 
No matter what state I'm in 
I'm in a southern state of mind 
Don't matter what state I'm in 
I'm in a southern state of mind 
A southern state of mind

Monday, October 11, 2010

Spring Break


I started off the week by venturing into the city just because I could, when I was met by Carli at the bus station. So we ventured off together, It was so good just to hang out and get to know the poeple you do life with better!

The next day I went on a massive job hunt all over the place and by the afternoon was broken hearted and miserable! I've been big all my life but havent had to many people tell me to my face.
I applied at a store, a smaller people clothing store, the sign on the door said URGENT Sales required.
Well............... I was told that I would have to fit in the close to sell them.
It gets worse, I applied at  accessory store later and the manager told me I didn't have the look they were going for. hello you don't have to be skinny to sale headbands and handbags....
As I sat at home and cried I was praying for a distraction, then I mustered up some guts to text a friend and say I need you basically. All of us have those girls or guy  that you can say  "I need you" and they will drop everything and come running, well my "I need you" people arn't here! Thankfully God knew what was happening and already had someone in mind! Its great to have Godly women to do life with here!

Next day I job hunted like a mad woman online then we went back to the city to China Town and Paddys Market. It was great fun just to be out and about in the city! I tried my first bubble tea which was highly disgusting.

Then the beach. SO I woke up feeling incredibly down and was like OKAY GOD ITS ME AND YOU TODAY and headed to the beach with my bible! I soul searched for a long time.
Its hard in the midst of all the action going on here for me to remember why I came. So many of my hopes and dreams have changed I feel like I'm just flailing around.
Lately I've felt like I'm just here to have surgery. most of this stemming from the enemy and lack of $$$.
which is a whole different blog post! God then swooped in and said enough alone time, I've sent some girls so I walked an incredibally long way down the beach and hung out with my friends all afternoon.

Overall this break has been amazing, yesterday was spent doing nothing but hanging out and being a dork, and I taught charlie to make Fajitas :) it was exiting! and yummy too!

As always pictures!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Cheese and Sin

When I get upset I eat cheese. It doesn't make me feel better. It doesn't even taste that good. And usually I'm like really why did eat that?

This morning i was in a sooky ( Australian for pouty) mood. I huffed and puffed and cried. So then I tried the whole, ive got to get over myself and help others thing, so I made the boys and jess pancakes. Well after breakfast I started in on my cheese. Jared has already stated that it's gross and laughs at me or shakes his head when i do it(quite often)
Today was different. Today it was full on Sarah that's disgusting, don't eat it,it won't make you feel better, and then's making me sick.
I pouted and ate my cheese in silence lol
But he made a great point, eating the cheese wasn't going to help anything. Just like taking that drink, or messing around with that person, or screaming and yelling all don't help they just make things worse...
Then I got to thinking about sin. Sin can be used as a analogy to the cheese! Its gross, and often times we do it without thinking! It's also the same because our sin can have negative effects on the people around us. We as Christians should hold our brothers and sisters in Christ accountable the way Jared did with the cheese!

I know it sounds silly but the thought really blew my mind today so I figured I'd share!