Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The song on my heart!

You know me and when I get something on my heart I just can't let it go. This song has been everywhere I turn for the past few days so I figured I'd share it. I love how this song can say everything I want to say but just can't..........

The Words I Would Say-Sidewalk Prophets

Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say!

Proverbs 17:17- I friend loves at all times :)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I despise the dishes and more

I couldn’t sleep.

I rarely get 7 hours of straight sleep lately but anyways. I decided to get up and be productive.

I started my work pants in the dryer, they needed just alittle more time and theres no way I was going to wear a dress again to work.

I then moved on to the kitchen in which I quietly unloaded then re loaded the dishwasher and swept.

After showering I cleaned my bathroom ect….

I then got dressed and laid down for 15 more mins to read…

Then I woke up. I go in the kitchen and after looking around I simply sat on the floor and cried.

I was so proud of myself for being productive and cleaning. If you know me you know how much I DESPISE putting away dishes and my aunt’s new dishwasher game. Whoever opens it first puts the clean dishes up or they have to pay money. We all know I have none so I’m usually the loser at this game.

I’m going to be a crappy wife… I love to cook but hate dishes, I hate making my bed and doing laundry.

I should have know it was one of those days, but at least I didn’t try and unlock my ‘never locked” office door with my car clicker. I stood out there for a few mins last Tuesday and got extremely upset when it wouldn’t open… Slilly me
Work was nuts today… everyone was just in a funk. I think it’s the weather.

I’m listening to God is Able Live album. I’ve only actually listened to it twice, once with my mom and a few songs here and there. I absolutely JAMMED today at my desk though. Maybe one day my co-workers can hear me sing!Once upon a time I wouldn’t raise my hands in church and literally had to stop myself for just full on raising them at work. I drummed with my pens and bounced around most of the afternoon. It felt nice. I miss Oz and the family I had there. I want to just call them and say “hi remember me, I need a friend.”

I’m thankful for Skype and Facebook.
And Sweet Tea… day 2 of dr pepper and after wanting to claw a co-workers face off I asked Leah to get me a Tea. I’ve watched Darla drink about 4 diet ones and the temptation is awful… oh well. Dr Peppers are EASY.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Bible Games, random junk, and a picture....

Once upon a time I would turn to my Bible for all the answers.

 That hasn't been the case lately. Ever since I got back from Hillsong I've just had trouble finding where I fit with God. It sounds silly, I was blessed to be educated by the best but when I got back I was just so frustraited  that I couldn't find the perfect mix between FBC snyder and Hillsong that I just got mad and put church on the back burner. I've turned to everything for help lately, but God.
Last night I had enough. Someone I deeply care for is about to go through something that I couldn't imagine. I fell like I'm not old enough to have "adult" problems or have people I know go through them. My heart hurts for my friend and I just want to fix it. I know that I will never be able "fix it" but finally remembered that there is Someone who can fix it. Duh Sarah. I played the let the Bible fall open game and as usual wasn't shocked when it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Proverbs 20 in the Message just rocked my world. Silly for me to not expect it because I've been praying for it for awhile but still..... It was like I needed a recap in life's lessons.
 Last night I cried myself to sleep like a 5 year old, I honestly think I needed it. I needed to crawl in the Lap of my Heavenly Father and cry. I actually may need to do that all this week but thats the great part about Grace.

In other news I'm trying to quit Dr.Peppers, which is stupid because I have no will power. Maybe one day it will stick. I keep reminding myself that my love for all things carb and sugary death is nothing compared the things some have to quit. Herion, cocain, drugs and alcohol are a major problem and I'm complaining about salt and Dr. Peppers.

coming soon... all about my photo day with Darla!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Roadtrip to Odessa!

Oh how I love West Texas and my friends!

Leading up to the day of love I felt myself slip further and further back under my black cloud of depression. I decided to treat myself to a weekend with my Bestest Buddy Brandon Bragg. I shoudl call him B4 lol

After some begging and good ol luck Greg decided to join in on my roadtrip!

It took us forever to get there! rain+fog+deer+sarah= no fun

We ate a ton! To make up for that I was forced to do p90X... I only made it about 30 mins before I started hearing things like " You can do it" and "don't you dare sweat on my couch"
I thought I was going to kill over or hurl. Before that I had already done about half of P90 stretch because the boys said I couldn't.... oh well I felt better!

Samantha Berry drove in from Big Spring to hang with us which was such a treat. After dinner we went back to Brandons to hang out around the fire pit. We had a blast with fireworks confused with guns. Lous Music and the name that tune game! I even danced a bit!

This weekend I caught a glimpse of old Sarah. It took awhile but I finally loosened up and had some fun. Not many I'm sorrys or ridiclous feelings of guilt! My and and greg have this game, anytime I say "I'm sorry" when its not warrented I get thumped , pinched, or tickled. Hopefully it will keep working and help my weird im sorry issue.

Anyways I know this blog isn't great. I've had the stomach bug and my brain just doesn't work.
let the Pictures do the talking!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I broke my office chair.

I broke my office chair today. I had been a coming since before I got here but the girl before me weighed about 100 lbs, so the chair didn’t know what was happening.

Throughout the day for the past month, I would just sink to the floor in an “I’m melting” kind of way. We were trying to hold off because our office should be getting remolded soon and chairs are on the list. Apparently its best to bring yours from home but sadly I can’t afford one at the moment.

This got me thinking about some things.

Did you know the best office chair for fat folks is a Herman-Miller and cost about $700 smackaroos?!
A standard office chair is about $150.

They also have a weight limit of 200 lbs.

Me-Did y’all know the average office chair holds 200lbs?
Co-worker-I guess your more than that?
Me-uhhh yeah I actually weigh…… -way over

As I sit here at my desk I mentally went through the people we have working here. I’m about the second biggest and the only female that weighs over 200. So do employers think like that when hiring? I mean who would have thought I would be obnoxious about my chair being on the ground and then breaking another one. Do they think hmm we would need a bigger desk? I know I wouldn’t, but maybe I should.

I don’t really see weight anymore. I get to know people for who they are. My close family and friends don’t see weight either. I remember many times when my *guy friends * would say “look at that cow” when clearly I was a whale or hippo because I’m way bigger.

*** of course they don’t judge women like that not that they are adults***

Maybe I’m so used to fat being the “norm” here in “Merica” or my plus size family, that I’m used to it!

I finally had to just suck it up and tell my Manager I’m top heavy and just can’t sit like a low-rider.

He brought me a chair to hold me over but I already feel it creaking and popping… we shall see tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I will not Whine....

I will not whine
 About being alone on valintines day.
Or being broke.
Or missing my best friend .
Or all the flowers that everyone else got at work.
Or all the laundry that I have a romantic date with tonight.

I will be excited that
I can go see "The Vow" when I want.
 that I have a job and a God that provides even the smallest of things that I need.
I will be happy that she's happy.
I'm allergic to most flowers anyways.
I get to have a Fun weekend with my buddies.
I will not whine but learn to celebrate the small things and be happy.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Surviving Single- Jon Acuff

I love Stuff Christians Like!

Jon Acuff wrote a post about surviving church as a single. I thought it was so funny I decided to reply to some of my favorites!

People are constantly volunteering you for things because “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.
My free time is spent trying to afford life and food.

When people introduce you, they say, “This is Matt, my single friend.
This is Sarah my fat, single friend.

You’ve secretly always wanted your own cat but are afraid that ownership of a single kitten will become some sort of gateway drug to becoming “the cat lady.
Thank heavens I’m allergic to cats.

Your married friends tip toe around you during February because they think you’re too delicate to handle the completely made up holiday, Valentine’s Day.
I said last week, I can’t wait until v-day candy goes on sale… whooo

Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that, until you get married too, you can’t be close again. Because you just don’t understand each other anymore.
Not quite has happened yet but I get it.

Upon hearing that you went on two dates, your married friends at church start telling you, “I’ll be praying that this is the one!”
or when you post a picture on fb of you and a friend then your inbox is full of questions.

You set your alarm to “not going to church today” after the first week of the marriage sermon series.
True dat

The only time your married friends invite you over is when they need a babysitter.
I can’t wait for this to happen!

You’ve developed highly sensitive, “They’re about to throw the bouquet” radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding.
I’m  a giant but never seem to catch it.

"Why aren't you married? But you're so pretty!"
I simply answer “I’m also fat”