Saturday, December 24, 2011
How to peel an egg the fun way!
My Papa showed us how to blow eggs about 8 this morning... it was so entertaining we woke up the whole house!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Blessings
I’m sitting here listening to Laura Story’s blessings trying not to weep at my desk. Ive had some wonderful uplifting and Godly conversations with Darla at work here lately and feel like I’m once again back to God speaking His Word to me via the Radio and music. Sounds weird but who cares ;)
If you’ve been around me very much lately you know I haven’t been singing. I just can’t right now… Slowly the passion and Joy I have for Worship and music is coming back but I don’t want to force it…. God know what I’m going through right now. I thinking about the Lyrics to this song for awhile now and after e-mailing my family I wish I would have put them in my e-mail.
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
Monday, December 19, 2011
Health slap and Aggie Land
You know those people on the biggest loser who just bam “well I didn’t realize I was sick or had diabetes or heart disease or that I had even gotten that big”… well that’s what happened to me last Monday! After my aunt and I being at three dr’s in one day I got in the car and was like… woah… talk about a slap in the face!
I’m having problems with my blood pressure and iron… But with the help of my neat little tracker app and my aunts ability to find low sodium food and spend tons of money and hours at the store in order for my new healthy lifestyle to take place! I’ve been under my calorie intake and sodium milligrams almost everyday for a week now so that’s a huge WIN for Sayrah!
So I went to visit and help out a friend in his hometown this weekend. I had a great time and actually enjoyed getting up at 2 am and rolling papers! I’m thankful I learned how to read a map at age 5 because that was my job… to read the map while he threw the papers! I now know certain neighborhoods of college station very very well!
I’ve always loved hearing about my friends childhoods, the majority of my friends I’ve known since high school so Its neat for me to hear all about their past lives ect…. Except for Mr Greggo… He was Mr. hot stuff big man on campus big time sports player and after seeing pictures and hearing stories I got weird. I was like why are we friends?! I felt like the nerdy fluffy ag girl/ choir freak who was spending the weekend with Mr. big time. I was awkward for a while actually just thinking about life and how much people change…… then I snapped out of it and had to remember that I’m not 16 and neither is he and that adults can be friends and have a good time with each other without all the weirdness. Who cares if he’s Mr. big stuff and I’mfat fluffy Sarah I shouldn’t be embarrassed of myself and not want people to meet me. We are friends. A lot of people are asking me if we are dating.. Nope we aren’t . Just friends, and If you’ve known me for any matter of time you know I have the uncanny ability to be just friends with guys… that’s how I like it!
I’m having problems with my blood pressure and iron… But with the help of my neat little tracker app and my aunts ability to find low sodium food and spend tons of money and hours at the store in order for my new healthy lifestyle to take place! I’ve been under my calorie intake and sodium milligrams almost everyday for a week now so that’s a huge WIN for Sayrah!
So I went to visit and help out a friend in his hometown this weekend. I had a great time and actually enjoyed getting up at 2 am and rolling papers! I’m thankful I learned how to read a map at age 5 because that was my job… to read the map while he threw the papers! I now know certain neighborhoods of college station very very well!
I’ve always loved hearing about my friends childhoods, the majority of my friends I’ve known since high school so Its neat for me to hear all about their past lives ect…. Except for Mr Greggo… He was Mr. hot stuff big man on campus big time sports player and after seeing pictures and hearing stories I got weird. I was like why are we friends?! I felt like the nerdy fluffy ag girl/ choir freak who was spending the weekend with Mr. big time. I was awkward for a while actually just thinking about life and how much people change…… then I snapped out of it and had to remember that I’m not 16 and neither is he and that adults can be friends and have a good time with each other without all the weirdness. Who cares if he’s Mr. big stuff and I’m
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Christmas Battles
Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas…… everywhere around me.
The day after Thanksgiving I wanted nothing more that to hop in my car and drive to Snyder to getMy OUR Christmas stuff so I could decorate my I mean my aunts house. I love Christmas time so so so much!
But….
Not this year.
I feel as if Depression has ripped my Holiday from me. I have no Joy, No Holiday Spirit, No Stockings, No tree full of homemade ornaments, and no exciting Trips to see my Dad and family. Just work and a trip to the beach with my family, which I should totally be excited about … but NOOOOO I have a black cloud over my head that robs me of any emotion but tears.
So I’m FORCING myself to try and enjoy the holiday and the REASON behind it. At work yesterday they ask why the tree wasn’t up …. The Ladies at work told the boss because we just aren’t in the mood.. but he wanted it put up anyways so I said ME! I’ll Do it! Wow I thought to myself “a glimpse of “normal”me!”
So what did I do this morning? I turned on Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, and Travis Cottrell Christmas and decorated the work Christmas Tree- with a smile! Yay Me!
I know it sounds silly but sometimes the smallest of accomplishments mean the most when “Battling”
*** Don’t worry, I won’t be like this forever. I haven’t been blogging because I don’t want to be that Negative girl or have people tell me to just pray about it. That makes it so much worse. I know that I have a Savior that can HEAL me at ANY MOMENT. But I believe that God lets you experience and battle things actually. Depression and Bi-Polar disorder are real dieses that people choose to deal with in tons of different ways. I’m getting the help and that’s more than most. . If you’d like to understand more about whats going on with me you can read about it here. My post may be down one day and way way up the next. That’s my real life***
The day after Thanksgiving I wanted nothing more that to hop in my car and drive to Snyder to get
But….
Not this year.
I feel as if Depression has ripped my Holiday from me. I have no Joy, No Holiday Spirit, No Stockings, No tree full of homemade ornaments, and no exciting Trips to see my Dad and family. Just work and a trip to the beach with my family, which I should totally be excited about … but NOOOOO I have a black cloud over my head that robs me of any emotion but tears.
So I’m FORCING myself to try and enjoy the holiday and the REASON behind it. At work yesterday they ask why the tree wasn’t up …. The Ladies at work told the boss because we just aren’t in the mood.. but he wanted it put up anyways so I said ME! I’ll Do it! Wow I thought to myself “a glimpse of “normal”me!”
So what did I do this morning? I turned on Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, and Travis Cottrell Christmas and decorated the work Christmas Tree- with a smile! Yay Me!
I know it sounds silly but sometimes the smallest of accomplishments mean the most when “Battling”
*** Don’t worry, I won’t be like this forever. I haven’t been blogging because I don’t want to be that Negative girl or have people tell me to just pray about it. That makes it so much worse. I know that I have a Savior that can HEAL me at ANY MOMENT. But I believe that God lets you experience and battle things actually. Depression and Bi-Polar disorder are real dieses that people choose to deal with in tons of different ways. I’m getting the help and that’s more than most. . If you’d like to understand more about whats going on with me you can read about it here. My post may be down one day and way way up the next. That’s my real life***
Sunday, November 27, 2011
I haven't blogged much because I'm trying the whole if you dont have anything nice don't say it at all trick... I'm getting help and dealing with my emotions so I'll be back to normal sarah in no time!
Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet? - L. M. Montgomery (1874-1942)
Monday, November 7, 2011
You're talkin to a stranger...
Some times when I can't put what I'm thinking or feeling into words I turn to my 3 trusted friends.... Lady A. I'm not one of those crazy crazy fans but they sure can put any mood or feeling into words! I love the new album but tonight I was brought back to their first album full of angst and breakup hate strongly dislike.
It’s so like you just to show up at my door
And act like nothin’s happened
You think I’ll sweep my heart up off the floor
And give it to you
Like so many times before
You’re talking to a stranger
I’m not that girl anymore
That girl is long gone
Boy you missed the boat it just sailed away
Long gone
She’s not drowning in her yesterdays
Betcha never thought I’d be that strong
Well this girl is long gone
This song came on the radio on my way home from having dinner with a friend tonight... I couldn't help but think about the line you're talkin to a stranger... sometimes I feel like I am so much of a stranger I don't know myself.... that I just can't figure out who I am and who I want to be. I know who I am in Christ but lately I've felt that just knowing that isn't enough...
Day 5 of no dr pepper.....
It’s so like you just to show up at my door
And act like nothin’s happened
You think I’ll sweep my heart up off the floor
And give it to you
Like so many times before
You’re talking to a stranger
I’m not that girl anymore
That girl is long gone
Boy you missed the boat it just sailed away
Long gone
She’s not drowning in her yesterdays
Betcha never thought I’d be that strong
Well this girl is long gone
This song came on the radio on my way home from having dinner with a friend tonight... I couldn't help but think about the line you're talkin to a stranger... sometimes I feel like I am so much of a stranger I don't know myself.... that I just can't figure out who I am and who I want to be. I know who I am in Christ but lately I've felt that just knowing that isn't enough...
Day 5 of no dr pepper.....
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Things I've learned in Traffic
I, Sarah Victoria Carpenter, am not cut out for commuting. I hate traffic!
I was having a hard time figuring out why I'm so so so exhausted this week. Yes I'm standing on my feet all day but I should be used to it by now .... Then it hit me! I add about 2 hours to my day tensed up in traffic. .... it took me 2 hours to get home the other day... two hours! I know many people do this on a daily bases and I salute y'all!
So here are a few things I've learned this week.
Mom says books on tape work so I'm going to try that out
Do you have any good tips for commuting or sitting in traffic for hours a day?
I was having a hard time figuring out why I'm so so so exhausted this week. Yes I'm standing on my feet all day but I should be used to it by now .... Then it hit me! I add about 2 hours to my day tensed up in traffic. .... it took me 2 hours to get home the other day... two hours! I know many people do this on a daily bases and I salute y'all!
So here are a few things I've learned this week.
- Many people here in Austin release their stress but smoking a bong when gridlocked on Mopac.... I've seen it twice now.
- Don't be afraid to put your car in park and take off your shoes.
- It always comes in handy to have snacks or a drink specifically for your car ride.
Sarah + Traffic+ Hunger= HULK - its nice to have your cell phone charged so that you may talk... not text but talk about how wonderful your day and ride home was...
- Also you should rememeber that just because someone is in the exit only lane does not mean they are actually going to exit... they are just speeding around you to get 6 cars ahead and then come to a complete stop!
Mom says books on tape work so I'm going to try that out
Do you have any good tips for commuting or sitting in traffic for hours a day?
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Mermaid or Whale
I saw this on my Facebook feed this tonight. I instantly wanted to copy it and print it out to hang on my mirror. I figured I'd blog about it. It seems as thought my life is so full of drama and crap lately... I feel myself wanting to sleep and disappear to never never land aka sydney! This brought such a needed smile to my face so I hope it does yours to :)
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist.
But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.
We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)
By: Delphine Fieberg
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Wired for Wranglers?
I'm sorry but Country Singers shouldn't paint on their pants...
What happened to the days when cowboys and country stars wore nice wranglers or cinch jeans?
I was watching Ellen today and just didn't care for Luke Bryan's jeans... granted im the loser at home on the couch but still... come on .. your not Mick Jagger or some other 80's star in Tights
What happened to the days when cowboys and country stars wore nice wranglers or cinch jeans?
I was watching Ellen today and just didn't care for Luke Bryan's jeans... granted im the loser at home on the couch but still... come on .. your not Mick Jagger or some other 80's star in Tights
Maybe its just me but
This
Is way more attractive than
This
Just sayin...
maybe its in my genes...
I could just be wired for wrangers...
Monday, September 26, 2011
Not me Monday
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to < target="_blank" href="http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. This hopefullly won't be my last "not me" Monday post.
I did not have an interview at a lingerie shop today, nope not me. I also didn't do great at the interview because I could sale to the "average or plus size customers" HAHA I also did not feel guilty for even interviewing at this place, but I could be a light anywhere I work. I think the bird and the dog are tired of me "shining my light from the house"
I did not cry for about 3 hours today. I feel like I'm in a stupid depression hurts commercial- please don't freakout about this statement.......if you know me you know my hormones are crazy wacked and im totally okay.
I most Definallty didn't come home from the gym and eat more double stuffed Oreo. Maybe I'll go back in a few hours!
Overall its been a not so great Monday! Things are looking up though!
I did not have an interview at a lingerie shop today, nope not me. I also didn't do great at the interview because I could sale to the "average or plus size customers" HAHA I also did not feel guilty for even interviewing at this place, but I could be a light anywhere I work. I think the bird and the dog are tired of me "shining my light from the house"
I did not cry for about 3 hours today. I feel like I'm in a stupid depression hurts commercial- please don't freakout about this statement.......if you know me you know my hormones are crazy wacked and im totally okay.
I most Definallty didn't come home from the gym and eat more double stuffed Oreo. Maybe I'll go back in a few hours!
Overall its been a not so great Monday! Things are looking up though!
Cheekys' Brow Blog!
Cheeky's brow blog!
I was super excited to read this on cheeky's blog the other day! Much to my surprise finally my bushy eye brows are "in". Check it out and book online to get your eyebrows looking great!
Tweeze No More!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Yards and Bones
I HATE YARD WORK
My mom always says "you don't hate anything, you strongly dislike it"
well I really hate Yard work.
I was informed that this seemed rude. I love living here and because I'm a total loser at the moment I really don't mind having things to do, I even said "make me a list" I realize that "taking me to the grocery store" is just as annoying as yardwork. I just wanted to clarify that this in no way was negative against my aunt or her list, I'm acutally in hopes that she will leave me another one next week :)
I've beasted on the list but left all the yard work for the last day thinking maybe it i wished hard enough it would go away. The second to the last thing on the list says "rake out grass ect out of flower beds..." I started it the other day but it just made me so mad... its not grass its 2 ft long weeds with roots and annoyance. so I worked for about an hour day before yesterday and just made a mess. I set my alarm this morning to get up early and work while it was cool so I couldn't use the fact that Im allergic to heat ( like my mom) as an excuse. After about 40 mins of work its still a MESS. I HATE YARD WORK.
Speaking of yard work, my aunt and I majorly worked on the back yard a few weeks ago. It looks great! Jingles had been spending more time outside lately so I though he was just happy to have his yard back without being eaten by leaves. I had a weird day yesterday so last night I was super excited to watch Grey's and lay on the couch ( even though I'm jobless I don't lay on the couch all day ) anyways I was laying here and see Jingles come in with a GIANT BONE. It was about a foot long which is way Giant for Jingles. I yelled and got a towel picked it up and send a picture to my aunt. I wanted to make sure this wasn't his "long lost favorite toy" but deep down I knew that he was no way allowed to have this.
If you know me you know I watch way to much TV, one of my favorite shows being BONES. If you've seen bones you know they start the same way every time, freaky things happen and you find bones.
While freaking out with my aunt on the phone I kept telling her if Jingles brings in a skull I was not going to be a happy camper! Of course she calmed me down but still...... I dreamed of bones in the yard all night. All I could think about was raking in the yard and finding a dead body.....
So If you can tell me what kind of bone this is it would help greatly with my metal state :)
I know its not a human one but you have to admit, you might freak out too!
Imoff to do the last thing on my list- "Search and Destroy all McDonalds/Sonic cups!" My aunt is a funny funny lady
My mom always says "you don't hate anything, you strongly dislike it"
well I really hate Yard work.
I've had this daunting list of things to do to help out my aunt.
<<<<<<< read with a smile on your face >>>>>> I was informed that this seemed rude. I love living here and because I'm a total loser at the moment I really don't mind having things to do, I even said "make me a list" I realize that "taking me to the grocery store" is just as annoying as yardwork. I just wanted to clarify that this in no way was negative against my aunt or her list, I'm acutally in hopes that she will leave me another one next week :)
I've beasted on the list but left all the yard work for the last day thinking maybe it i wished hard enough it would go away. The second to the last thing on the list says "rake out grass ect out of flower beds..." I started it the other day but it just made me so mad... its not grass its 2 ft long weeds with roots and annoyance. so I worked for about an hour day before yesterday and just made a mess. I set my alarm this morning to get up early and work while it was cool so I couldn't use the fact that Im allergic to heat ( like my mom) as an excuse. After about 40 mins of work its still a MESS. I HATE YARD WORK.
Speaking of yard work, my aunt and I majorly worked on the back yard a few weeks ago. It looks great! Jingles had been spending more time outside lately so I though he was just happy to have his yard back without being eaten by leaves. I had a weird day yesterday so last night I was super excited to watch Grey's and lay on the couch ( even though I'm jobless I don't lay on the couch all day ) anyways I was laying here and see Jingles come in with a GIANT BONE. It was about a foot long which is way Giant for Jingles. I yelled and got a towel picked it up and send a picture to my aunt. I wanted to make sure this wasn't his "long lost favorite toy" but deep down I knew that he was no way allowed to have this.
If you know me you know I watch way to much TV, one of my favorite shows being BONES. If you've seen bones you know they start the same way every time, freaky things happen and you find bones.
While freaking out with my aunt on the phone I kept telling her if Jingles brings in a skull I was not going to be a happy camper! Of course she calmed me down but still...... I dreamed of bones in the yard all night. All I could think about was raking in the yard and finding a dead body.....
I know its not a human one but you have to admit, you might freak out too!
Imoff to do the last thing on my list- "Search and Destroy all McDonalds/Sonic cups!" My aunt is a funny funny lady
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Biggest Glee Loser and one more wedding!
Things have been so weird right now!
The job search is going alright..... Ive had a few interviews and leads... I know God knows what he's doing.
I'm currently watching the biggest loser trying my hardest not to go to the fridge for some munchies....
I didn't get to go to the casting call in austin though I seriously thought about it... I know I can do it at home!
Speaking of weight loss I got on the scale yesterday and enjoyed what I saw! being 249 was exciting! it may be just one lb but its still under 250!
Glee was super exciting this evening! Always so uplifting and encouraging me to sing again!
Speaking of singing! I went and checked out Austin Harmony Chorus last night! It was pretty fun!
Stephanie's wedding is in about a month so Im super looking forward to going home and seeing people! I may even have a plus one- just a friend but still it would be nice to not go to another wedding alone!
The job search is going alright..... Ive had a few interviews and leads... I know God knows what he's doing.
I'm currently watching the biggest loser trying my hardest not to go to the fridge for some munchies....
I didn't get to go to the casting call in austin though I seriously thought about it... I know I can do it at home!
Speaking of weight loss I got on the scale yesterday and enjoyed what I saw! being 249 was exciting! it may be just one lb but its still under 250!
Glee was super exciting this evening! Always so uplifting and encouraging me to sing again!
Speaking of singing! I went and checked out Austin Harmony Chorus last night! It was pretty fun!
Stephanie's wedding is in about a month so Im super looking forward to going home and seeing people! I may even have a plus one- just a friend but still it would be nice to not go to another wedding alone!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Tears of Awesomeness
If you know me you know I'm emotional.
If you've been around me in the past year you know that my emotions mixed with my hormones = crazy tears
I've done nothing this week but lay around and cry.
I did go for a walk a few times..... But came back and proceeded to cry lol
Tonight while watching the Emmys I cried again! Melissa McCarthy won best lead actress in a comedy for mike and Molly! It was refreshing to see her with all those beautiful tiny actresses :)
Austin is such a big city but is quite lonely sometimes!
If you've been around me in the past year you know that my emotions mixed with my hormones = crazy tears
I've done nothing this week but lay around and cry.
I did go for a walk a few times..... But came back and proceeded to cry lol
Tonight while watching the Emmys I cried again! Melissa McCarthy won best lead actress in a comedy for mike and Molly! It was refreshing to see her with all those beautiful tiny actresses :)
Austin is such a big city but is quite lonely sometimes!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Who cries at the Pride Parade?
I went to the Pride Parade with my aunt on Sat. She supports me in everything I do so why not go with her?
We were having a grand ol time clapping and cheering... I was trying to figure out out I could take lessons on how to be hot by MISS Drag Queen Texas... some of those men/women were way prettier than me! Then I see a sign that said " we fought in silence but served with pride." Immediately the tears start falling... I of course try to hide/stop it and by that time my aunt had noticed and smile and gave me some water. I said " What straight girl cries at a pride parade?" " I can't believe I'm crying" Something inside me just churned! I wanted to go thank each and ever one of those men and women in uniform! They were fighting to keep us safe and free and had to lie about who they are. it just baffles me. I thought about my aunt who was in the arming, lying saying I'm straight when everyone knows shes not..... how crazy
Later that night I was at dinner with my aunt and her friends when I said something about church. A friend asked me if I was religious.... I hate that question, because the definition is so different to everyone... so I just said "yes. I'm a Christian" suddlenly the whole bar was staring at me... it felt like an hour but was only about 30 secs...........to break the silence I started laughing and said but I'm not going to hit you over the head with a bible... I'm not a bible thumper, then my aunt jumped in and everyone laughed. I love my aunt's friends. They are always so welcoming and include me with out making me feel like the "straight one" but in that moment I felt like I had a glimpse of what it must feel like for them sometimes. To be so judged left me feeling vulnerable and bare. I could never live my life like that... it would drive me crazy...
Which brought me back to the parade and the people walking in it and maybe why my heart hurt for them but in a oddly happy way. Believe what you want but I felt like God gave me my tender heart for a reason and allowed me to feel something special for the men in women who are still out there protecting our country while serving in silence.
We were having a grand ol time clapping and cheering... I was trying to figure out out I could take lessons on how to be hot by MISS Drag Queen Texas... some of those men/women were way prettier than me! Then I see a sign that said " we fought in silence but served with pride." Immediately the tears start falling... I of course try to hide/stop it and by that time my aunt had noticed and smile and gave me some water. I said " What straight girl cries at a pride parade?" " I can't believe I'm crying" Something inside me just churned! I wanted to go thank each and ever one of those men and women in uniform! They were fighting to keep us safe and free and had to lie about who they are. it just baffles me. I thought about my aunt who was in the arming, lying saying I'm straight when everyone knows shes not..... how crazy
Later that night I was at dinner with my aunt and her friends when I said something about church. A friend asked me if I was religious.... I hate that question, because the definition is so different to everyone... so I just said "yes. I'm a Christian" suddlenly the whole bar was staring at me... it felt like an hour but was only about 30 secs...........to break the silence I started laughing and said but I'm not going to hit you over the head with a bible... I'm not a bible thumper, then my aunt jumped in and everyone laughed. I love my aunt's friends. They are always so welcoming and include me with out making me feel like the "straight one" but in that moment I felt like I had a glimpse of what it must feel like for them sometimes. To be so judged left me feeling vulnerable and bare. I could never live my life like that... it would drive me crazy...
Which brought me back to the parade and the people walking in it and maybe why my heart hurt for them but in a oddly happy way. Believe what you want but I felt like God gave me my tender heart for a reason and allowed me to feel something special for the men in women who are still out there protecting our country while serving in silence.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Today stunk!
so I've been feeling like crap lately.... My female issues are back and causing a great deal of pain so I haven't felt like doing much besides going to work...
I decided I needed to get out of the house so I called my new friend Jade and we decided to meet at Magnoila Cafe. Then my buddy Jaron called and let me know about his show downtown so I thought hay. might as well go out and see him after I met up with Jade.... WRONG! On my way out of the restaurant my mouth started to itch and I felt my neck get hot. Then I started feeling queasy... by the time I got home I had a full blown rash on my neck everything and everything itched. After 30 mins of searching and talking to my mom I finally found the benedryl and settled in for the night. .... Then the vomiting started. I couldn't keep down anything not even water.... after getting up and down most of the night Jingles and I just made a pallet in the bathroom floor and passed out. I tend to act like I'm 5 yeaers old when I'm sick.......
Needless to say it was a rough night! I needed to go mail a package to Mr. and Mrs. Bridges in ALASKA but didn't feel good so I thought I'd do it online... Wrong....
after 2 trips and one major hissy fit in the post office I finally got back home and proceeded to go right back to sleep.
Then I get a phone call from work. YAY I thought... they need me to come in. There hasn't been much opportunity for hours this week and Lord knows I need the money. Basically it was them saying unfortunately they no longer need me but that someone from the front office would be in contact sometime this month if they were hiring again. These people slightly filled me full of crap with allowing me to think I could move to the front office. I know its not their fault...... Big company bought out small company junk... they even fired a woman who had been there 15 years....
Today just stunk.
I'm going to go cry.
I would normally go eat....
but I'm broke and sick.
job interviews here we come!
I decided I needed to get out of the house so I called my new friend Jade and we decided to meet at Magnoila Cafe. Then my buddy Jaron called and let me know about his show downtown so I thought hay. might as well go out and see him after I met up with Jade.... WRONG! On my way out of the restaurant my mouth started to itch and I felt my neck get hot. Then I started feeling queasy... by the time I got home I had a full blown rash on my neck everything and everything itched. After 30 mins of searching and talking to my mom I finally found the benedryl and settled in for the night. .... Then the vomiting started. I couldn't keep down anything not even water.... after getting up and down most of the night Jingles and I just made a pallet in the bathroom floor and passed out. I tend to act like I'm 5 yeaers old when I'm sick.......
Needless to say it was a rough night! I needed to go mail a package to Mr. and Mrs. Bridges in ALASKA but didn't feel good so I thought I'd do it online... Wrong....
after 2 trips and one major hissy fit in the post office I finally got back home and proceeded to go right back to sleep.
Then I get a phone call from work. YAY I thought... they need me to come in. There hasn't been much opportunity for hours this week and Lord knows I need the money. Basically it was them saying unfortunately they no longer need me but that someone from the front office would be in contact sometime this month if they were hiring again. These people slightly filled me full of crap with allowing me to think I could move to the front office. I know its not their fault...... Big company bought out small company junk... they even fired a woman who had been there 15 years....
Today just stunk.
I'm going to go cry.
I would normally go eat....
but I'm broke and sick.
job interviews here we come!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
My Best Friend's Wedding- Abby
When I started 5th grade I was excited about one thing.... being in my moms school. Never in a million years did I think that the skinny blonde girl at the desk next to me would be my best friend.
Abby and I had a great childhood full of food, nsync, dance parties and most importantly for me - MAKEOVERS.
We were evening going to go to the NYSYNC concert together in jr high but sadly she got mono from the water fountain at tennis camp..... seriously she wasn't kissing anyone it was the water fountain :( I ask my mom if Justin would autograph a picture for her because she was so sick.... mom said she doubted we could find him....Maybe If we had she would be marring him in stead of matt....
anyways.....
We stayed close through most of school but grew apart in the highschool days. Lucky for me I knew she would always be there for me no matter what. She came to most of my shows and even did her time out at the ag farm with me, and if you know Abby that wasn't her thing back then. She would come to my defense when ever needed... shes smaller but 10 days older than me and a spitfirr, so its like a big sister. One of the memories I have was of her screaming and cussing out a friend at sonic cause he was rude to me, to this day he is still scared of her.
Abby and I lived in Austin for awhile at the same time. It was during this time that we grew the closest. Personally it was the worst times in my life and Abby was right there to hold my hand and feed me Guacamole and Alfredo. Growing up was so hard but it was made easier having her there.
Abby and Matt blessed me with a laptop when it was time to go to Australia and at that point I new she would marry him. Apparently it was his idea and any Man who loves abby so much he loves her friends was the one. He made her laugh like I've never seen her laugh and we all know abby can laugh.
I realize that I'm writing like shes on her death bed or something..... I know this is a new beginning!
Hopefully I can make it through the day without crying and ruining my makeup. Speaking of makeup...... I finally did it. 15 years later I applied my makeup by myself and it looked exactly how Abby did it. We were a little proud last night at the rehearsal dinner HAHA
Abby and I had a great childhood full of food, nsync, dance parties and most importantly for me - MAKEOVERS.
We were evening going to go to the NYSYNC concert together in jr high but sadly she got mono from the water fountain at tennis camp..... seriously she wasn't kissing anyone it was the water fountain :( I ask my mom if Justin would autograph a picture for her because she was so sick.... mom said she doubted we could find him....Maybe If we had she would be marring him in stead of matt....
anyways.....
We stayed close through most of school but grew apart in the highschool days. Lucky for me I knew she would always be there for me no matter what. She came to most of my shows and even did her time out at the ag farm with me, and if you know Abby that wasn't her thing back then. She would come to my defense when ever needed... shes smaller but 10 days older than me and a spitfirr, so its like a big sister. One of the memories I have was of her screaming and cussing out a friend at sonic cause he was rude to me, to this day he is still scared of her.
Abby and I lived in Austin for awhile at the same time. It was during this time that we grew the closest. Personally it was the worst times in my life and Abby was right there to hold my hand and feed me Guacamole and Alfredo. Growing up was so hard but it was made easier having her there.
Abby and Matt blessed me with a laptop when it was time to go to Australia and at that point I new she would marry him. Apparently it was his idea and any Man who loves abby so much he loves her friends was the one. He made her laugh like I've never seen her laugh and we all know abby can laugh.
I realize that I'm writing like shes on her death bed or something..... I know this is a new beginning!
Hopefully I can make it through the day without crying and ruining my makeup. Speaking of makeup...... I finally did it. 15 years later I applied my makeup by myself and it looked exactly how Abby did it. We were a little proud last night at the rehearsal dinner HAHA
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Once you go Big, you never go Twig!-
http://www.ology.com/fashion-and-beauty/tlc%E2%80%99s-big-sexy%E2%80%9D-next-big-thing-fashion
A Plus Size reality show! HECK YEAH I'LL WATCH
SOOooooo I thought the show was great! Maybe a little too much for me at times but if I had the confidence they did maybe I'd do the crazy stuff too. Also maybe if I had their paychecks!
I think its great that these women are spreading the word about plus size fashion. I also liked the message about not sitting at home waiting for life to happen for them and getting off the couch. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this show in the coming months......
did you know when I was younger I would dream of being a plus size model? I even wrote to MTV's Made... Ive never admitted that to anyone :)
Disappointment
I'm disappointed with our society... That I can live in a place where its okay to call someone a Fat B&#$*
That is not something that anyone wants to hear early in the morning from a co-worker. You can call me "Church Girl" which was another team favorite but I just find Fat B$($^ too much to handle. Even if you its true you shouldn't say it.... I dont call you a Dumb "derogatory Name" because I know better and its just plain WRONG.
I also hate disappointing my family... I was headed on the right track to not relying on them as much for everything and taking care of some bills ect... I was finally showing my aunt that I've grown up and this just sets me back... stupid jobs.
Its like I've hit a brick wall.....
I wrote this last week but couldn't seem to ever finish it without having a pity party or saying something inappropriate. After I was ask to leave/quit my new job because "I didn't fit into a their team" they had a meeting about me while I was gone and in a since voted me off the Island.
Which in the long run was totally okay because I had a new job working in the warehouse for a Christian Company within a few hours. God is good all the time. Its temporary for now but hopefully I can get a permanent position.
SARAH! WHY didn't you blog about this sooner?
I didn't want to.
I was disappointed in my self and slighty aggravated with my job situations. Maybe I just regret not every getting a real degree.... everyone around me won't hush about college and yes I know I should have finished something but I'm dealing with the consequences and learning from my mistakes.
So my sincere apologies to anyone that has been praying for my job situation if I've left you hanging by not sharing everything thats going on at the moment. I really do appreciate your prayers but needed to deal with things before making public announcements.
That is not something that anyone wants to hear early in the morning from a co-worker. You can call me "Church Girl" which was another team favorite but I just find Fat B$($^ too much to handle. Even if you its true you shouldn't say it.... I dont call you a Dumb "derogatory Name" because I know better and its just plain WRONG.
I also hate disappointing my family... I was headed on the right track to not relying on them as much for everything and taking care of some bills ect... I was finally showing my aunt that I've grown up and this just sets me back... stupid jobs.
Its like I've hit a brick wall.....
I wrote this last week but couldn't seem to ever finish it without having a pity party or saying something inappropriate. After I was ask to leave/quit my new job because "I didn't fit into a their team" they had a meeting about me while I was gone and in a since voted me off the Island.
Which in the long run was totally okay because I had a new job working in the warehouse for a Christian Company within a few hours. God is good all the time. Its temporary for now but hopefully I can get a permanent position.
SARAH! WHY didn't you blog about this sooner?
I didn't want to.
I was disappointed in my self and slighty aggravated with my job situations. Maybe I just regret not every getting a real degree.... everyone around me won't hush about college and yes I know I should have finished something but I'm dealing with the consequences and learning from my mistakes.
So my sincere apologies to anyone that has been praying for my job situation if I've left you hanging by not sharing everything thats going on at the moment. I really do appreciate your prayers but needed to deal with things before making public announcements.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Weight loss.... again?
I need to loose weight.
Not for anyone else but for me.
Because well I guess its just time.
Time to stop joking about it and actually make a difference.
At my new job this week one of the size XS managers said " hey you look like you can lift this stuff" then proceeded to make me move some heavy junk around. I honestly didn't mind it because I am strong but its the way she looked at me. Its the way people laugh and make a face when I say I work at a doughnut shop and they laugh... FYI people Ive only eaten 2 doughnuts ( kolahces are a different story though ).
I grew up thinking that God made me just the way I am. That He had someone out there that would love me despite my height and weight.... I guess maybe I'm starting to second guess that. I tease that I'm a tiny ballerina trapped in a big girls body but I could always do everything that the skinnier girls did... it wasn't until recently did I begin to notice just how much bigger I really am. Maybe because society is just dumb or the people I work with are just jerks... or the fact that everyone around me is getting married and I just feel like the funny fat friend out in left field. I let people get in my head... I let silly ideas like "oh I'm not a bridesmaid because I won't look good in the dresses" get me way way down and it totally shouldn't.
Anyways I guess I'm putting this out in cyber space for some accountability, and hopfully so that yall can help me stay on track and be positive :)
sOOOOO
8/18-260lbs
Not for anyone else but for me.
Because well I guess its just time.
Time to stop joking about it and actually make a difference.
At my new job this week one of the size XS managers said " hey you look like you can lift this stuff" then proceeded to make me move some heavy junk around. I honestly didn't mind it because I am strong but its the way she looked at me. Its the way people laugh and make a face when I say I work at a doughnut shop and they laugh... FYI people Ive only eaten 2 doughnuts ( kolahces are a different story though ).
I grew up thinking that God made me just the way I am. That He had someone out there that would love me despite my height and weight.... I guess maybe I'm starting to second guess that. I tease that I'm a tiny ballerina trapped in a big girls body but I could always do everything that the skinnier girls did... it wasn't until recently did I begin to notice just how much bigger I really am. Maybe because society is just dumb or the people I work with are just jerks... or the fact that everyone around me is getting married and I just feel like the funny fat friend out in left field. I let people get in my head... I let silly ideas like "oh I'm not a bridesmaid because I won't look good in the dresses" get me way way down and it totally shouldn't.
Anyways I guess I'm putting this out in cyber space for some accountability, and hopfully so that yall can help me stay on track and be positive :)
sOOOOO
8/18-260lbs
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
We owned the Night
As you know I love Lady A! I first heard this song at their concert in Sydney and it touched something in me I guess... I instantly loved it and could relate it to many events and people in my life I guess.
Enjoy-
I'm sure there will be many more blogs about their new album as it comes out!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Glee 3-D
I went to the movies alone last night. Its somewhat of a guilty pleasure for me... I enjoy it because I can laugh when I want to laugh, cry when I want to cry, eat or drink as much as I'd like ect, without feeling like I was bothering someone or them judging me. So last night after I realized I didn't have to be a work so so early and I small yet stupid argument with my mother I decided I was going to hang out with my best friends.
Thats right
The cast of Glee. I know you may be rolling your eyes or laughing right now but thats okay.
My name is sarah, I'm 24 years old and I like glee.
Lucky for me I had the theater all to myself which made it even better!
Thats right
The cast of Glee. I know you may be rolling your eyes or laughing right now but thats okay.
My name is sarah, I'm 24 years old and I like glee.
Lucky for me I had the theater all to myself which made it even better!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
JOB JOB JOB JOB JOB
Praise the Lord I finally have a job!
I will be the newest employee at Shipley's doughnuts!
Doughuts you ask?
Didn't you go all the way to Australia to work in ministry?
YES I did... BUT I needed a job and feel this one will help get me on my feet!
Life in Austin is good. Just learning how to get back on my feet and not miss Australia! Making some friends and trying to find a good church!
I will be the newest employee at Shipley's doughnuts!
Doughuts you ask?
Didn't you go all the way to Australia to work in ministry?
YES I did... BUT I needed a job and feel this one will help get me on my feet!
Life in Austin is good. Just learning how to get back on my feet and not miss Australia! Making some friends and trying to find a good church!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Things that hack me off
living so far away from people I love
my stomach attacking itself.
when my mom nags me for not answering the phone yet when I reply via phone, fb, skype, house and cell... and get nothin HAHA
When waiters try to flirt with me and not the beautiful person usually sitting across the table from me.
Forgetting that I have DVR'd something and watching all the commercials anyways.
Our neighbors dirty looks.... I'm sorry you can't understand me but hello hi and a smile should be universal .... at least in America
Tiny Showers..... and shower heads that hit in the middle of your back.... sometimes I think it would be hilarious to watch big people back bend their way under the shower head... I know its funny for me!
that dogs don't live as long as people... being with jingles makes me miss lady raider....
my stomach attacking itself.
when my mom nags me for not answering the phone yet when I reply via phone, fb, skype, house and cell... and get nothin HAHA
When waiters try to flirt with me and not the beautiful person usually sitting across the table from me.
Forgetting that I have DVR'd something and watching all the commercials anyways.
Our neighbors dirty looks.... I'm sorry you can't understand me but hello hi and a smile should be universal .... at least in America
Tiny Showers..... and shower heads that hit in the middle of your back.... sometimes I think it would be hilarious to watch big people back bend their way under the shower head... I know its funny for me!
that dogs don't live as long as people... being with jingles makes me miss lady raider....
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Update time
I know its been forever since I've blogged. I've been doing good just haven't felt like anything is really worth sharing!
I went to visit mom in Vancouver for two weeks! we had a lot of fun! Highlighs being field day at her school in a dress and a hike up a waterfall!
Mom and I then hopped in Petry ( my car) and headed for texas! Upon completing this trip I have now been to all but 6 states! The drive was beautiful yet long! Some parts of Montana and Wyoming made me want to look out the window and see if the Indians were coming to get me! Cheyenne will always make me think of my Dad :)
Speaking of dad he and my little brother will be through Texas sometime at the end of the month so I'm so excited to see them!
Up next we are heading to east texas to see my Papa and then back to dilley and so on......
I went to visit mom in Vancouver for two weeks! we had a lot of fun! Highlighs being field day at her school in a dress and a hike up a waterfall!
Mom and I then hopped in Petry ( my car) and headed for texas! Upon completing this trip I have now been to all but 6 states! The drive was beautiful yet long! Some parts of Montana and Wyoming made me want to look out the window and see if the Indians were coming to get me! Cheyenne will always make me think of my Dad :)
Speaking of dad he and my little brother will be through Texas sometime at the end of the month so I'm so excited to see them!
Up next we are heading to east texas to see my Papa and then back to dilley and so on......
Monday, June 6, 2011
Ham
I don't like ham. Somewhere between the ages of 5-15 I just stopped liking it. No it wasn't because I showed pigs cause I assure you I still like bacon, hence the Gordo name calling ( read previous post) Anyways I've been on this omelet kick and I didn't have any meat to put it in soooooo I got out a piece of g-ma's ham! Let me tell you it was bomb.com!
I still don't like ham. but I will be eating spinach, mushroom, onion, garlic, tomato, and lots of cheese omelets again :)
I still don't like ham. but I will be eating spinach, mushroom, onion, garlic, tomato, and lots of cheese omelets again :)
Gordo-Life in Small Town Texas
I know its been awhile since I've blogged! I'm Currently living in Dilley Texas with my g-ma! Its a nice little town and I love her church so I'm settling in quite nicely!
Because my car is still in Canada for another month or so I just walk places. The whole town of dilley could fit inside the walk from my flat- the church in Sydney so its really no biggy for me. Unless its 102 degree heat or there are bunches of people out. When I walk for exercise I tend to stay off the main roads, I learned real quick I don't really belong here and "walkers" as they call them here have no business but bad business on the main roads. Today was a different story though. I was taking a quilt to the post office to be mailed for g-dizzle and kept getting honked at ( No it wasn't my orange hair :D)
I'm used to cars speeding up or swerving when you cross the road but today a man/kid leaened out the window and yelled Gorda or gordo I couldn't tell... both translating to FAT! I have a few thoughts about this.
A) I know I'm big dude- just be glad I'm out of the house and exercising
B) Its people like you who make people like me want to go home and eat ice cream cause some idoit was rude.
I pray that no one in your family ever deals with obesity or health problems... I hope that you are never stuck without a car and or wanted to walk somewhere. I hope your parents or grandparents and children are skinny healthy beautiful people. If not I hope that they never come across a disrespectful person like you.
Because my car is still in Canada for another month or so I just walk places. The whole town of dilley could fit inside the walk from my flat- the church in Sydney so its really no biggy for me. Unless its 102 degree heat or there are bunches of people out. When I walk for exercise I tend to stay off the main roads, I learned real quick I don't really belong here and "walkers" as they call them here have no business but bad business on the main roads. Today was a different story though. I was taking a quilt to the post office to be mailed for g-dizzle and kept getting honked at ( No it wasn't my orange hair :D)
I'm used to cars speeding up or swerving when you cross the road but today a man/kid leaened out the window and yelled Gorda or gordo I couldn't tell... both translating to FAT! I have a few thoughts about this.
A) I know I'm big dude- just be glad I'm out of the house and exercising
B) Its people like you who make people like me want to go home and eat ice cream cause some idoit was rude.
I pray that no one in your family ever deals with obesity or health problems... I hope that you are never stuck without a car and or wanted to walk somewhere. I hope your parents or grandparents and children are skinny healthy beautiful people. If not I hope that they never come across a disrespectful person like you.
I figure this is a touchy subject for someone of any size. I have some uber tiny friends who hate being called skinny as much as I hate being called fat. BUT its my blog and my opinions.....
So I leave you with 2 pictures I saw on facebook this week :)
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