Thursday, February 18, 2010

Arise and Eat

** Disclamier***- I'm going to be very honest. I'm a flood of emotions and I need to get them out

I'm so overwhelmed with joy and with fear. I know that the fear and the worry and the oh no what was He thinking sending me here is just satan. I know that but Spiritual Warfare is real and I can feel the battle.

1 Kings 19:5 says " Arise and Eat" I read this yesterday and was joking about it becoming my key verse. I understand it though. It was talking about Elijah being Depressed and how such a simple task of getting out of bed and eating was hard. Sometimes God doesn't call us to do extravagant things, he doesn't come in flashy visions, sometimes he just says get up and eat.
This morning as I pulled the covers over my head and wished to wake up and it be the end of may, my house was spotless, my car was sold, bella was with a loving family member, I had enough mulah in the bank work was rockin and rolling without because we  had a new pastor................. then I remembered what I read yesterday. "ARISE AND EAT"
so I put all those useless thoughts behind me and got up poured me a glass of cereal ( yes class I was late to work, and yes cereal, I'm trying to save money haha) and headed out the door.
Where I was greeting with smiling loving faces who are all extremly proud of me!
I also got a card from the church  from prayer meeting on it was this song:
I'm pressing on the upward way; New heights I'm gaining everyday, STill praying as I'm onward bound, Lord plant my feet on Higher Ground, Lord lift me up and let me stand, By faith on heavens table land. A higher plane thatn I have found. Lord Plant my feet on Higher Ground...
That is my prayer today.

One day at a time... but AHHHH I'm soooooo so so so so so so so EXCITED!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of you heart! Psalm 37:4

I will be moving to Sydney Australia in July!

I got the DESIRES of MY HEART!!!

Crazy huh

On July 10 2009 I wrote this in a blog post

I know that God has laid Worship on my heart for a reason, not completely sure what the reason is at the moment, but I do know i look forward more and more to when I get to lead people in Worshiping God and drawing them closer to the Lord with music.

CRAZY right?

I don't know where to even start! so here are somethings running through my head... They may even be Questions your thinking but only time and GOD will tell

How am I going to get there
What do I do with Bella
What are we doing with the House
Am i selling my car?
Where will I live
Who will I meet
What will I eat
How do I pack for that
how do I get a visa
Where in this messy house is my passport


Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Love Day!

I really had to pray for an attitude adjustment this morning!

 I didn't want to get out of bed

I knew I would be surrounded by wonderful happy people in love and I didn't want to deal with it I've realized that I spent the past week wasting so much energy worrying about something that is in Gods hands. I spent so much time "trying" to not think about it or be patient that I was worn out. I almost forgot it was Valintines day.
Sadly I remembered..... 

God gave me a peace this morning. Only once did I make a "im single and alone" comment and someone turned around and said "don't be bitter its not flattering" I couldn't help but laugh because God used her ( once again)  to remind me.
Church was amazing this morning. Choir was fun, I stumbled upon great news about some dear friends of mine and was reminded that I'm there to Worship!

Ed was talking about joy overflowing. I want to walk with the Lord so much that the Joy just pours out of me!  I want to be over flowing with Joy that I am not alone. That I have a Heavenly father who loves me more than I can imagine! I was made to Worship Him.

Bitterness, loneliness and depression can't get to me... not today!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

We are the World

"God has a track record of taking things meant for evil, and turning them around for the good." (In ref. to Haiti)- Random guy 

God made us. 




All of us.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What is your Idea of him- Crazy Love REPOST

 ok so I was looking at my old blogs and realized that I posted about crazy love a year and a few days ago.. I thought it would be neat to repost it and then my new one :)

I'm reading two books at the moment. Both talk about your view of God and WHO HE IS!

I wanted to share a part of "Crazy Love"
" have you ever thought about how diverse and creative God is? He didn't have to make hundreds of different kinds of bananas, but He did. He didn't have to put 3000 species of trees within one squre mile in the Amazon Jungle but He did. God didn't have to creat so many kinds of laughter. Think about all the different sounds of your friends laughs- wheezes, snorts, silent, loud, obnoxious!"

I'm one of those people that when trying to tell someone God exists, I automatically start with nature... I've never really thought about laughter. I love to laugh.. personally I have about 5, all of which are annoying and loud but they are mine and my friends love them...
God always shows me little things that make him real but I wonder what he shows other people.
How does God show himself to you?

I went to a funeral yesterday. I hate funerals but I learned a few things at this one. They were married for 50+ years and he could count on one hand how many times he'd been away from his wife. I want a love like that. Being from a broken home my biggest fear is Divorce but to see love like that just gives me great hope that I will find the one God has for me, in his own time...

" The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation"- 2 Samuel 22:2-3

"We are a culture that relies on technology over community, a society in where spoken and written word are cheap and easy to come back and excessive" After reading this I had to stop and thing for awhile. Francis told a story about his wife and that sometimes you become so familiar with something it becomes common.
A.W. Tozer said- "What comes into out minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." Your view of God effects how you think of him!

Whats your view of God?
Are you so familiar with God that he has become common?

Now go to Salvage and read!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Whatever You're doing- Sanctus Real

I heard this song yesterday for the first time. I was praying and it brought me to tears!
This song explains EXACTLY how I feel right now!

In the past 2 weeks on various occasions I've had friends tell me that I've changed. I don't know how except for the fact that I'm living my life to honor God. While at passion we prayed that others would see the fire that ignighted within us. Apparently they are seeing it and I hadn't noticed....
This song says it better than me. I often have trouble expressing how I feel deep down! so I think its great when a song says exactly how I'm feeling!

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

Monday, February 8, 2010

For I know the Plans I have for you..... Whoohoo

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future~ Jeremiah 29:11
Thank Goodness I'm not in control of my life.

Last night while watching the Super Bowl commercials ( we talked during the game), I found myself overly thankful that I didn't have kids. I was watching parents from my sunday school class with there adorable kiddos. They weren't screaming or acting up they were just walking around being cute, chasing a cat saying meow and momma and dadda and laughing. It was precious.

I found myself becoming overwhelmed with Joy at the fact that I said "wow I'm so glad I don't have kids". Which is rare and different for me, Its a major sign of God healing, shaping and molding my heart. If I had things my way I would be married with a family by now. Which is wonderful for some people but not for me... not right now.
and its been a long journey for those words to come out of my mouth!
Its so refreshing to know that God has different plans for me. God the creator of the Universe is going to use me( and you) in a wonderful way!

Psalm 37:4 says - Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart!

The heartbeat of passion is Isaiah 26:8- yes Lord walking in the way of your Truth, we wait for You; Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts!

The desire of my heart is to Love God and Love people. The rest will hopefully come later. I want to be a mother and a wife but right now.................

I want to live to make Him famous!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Dream Big

Today I dove head first for a Dream.
A dream that involves Music and Worship.
A dream that has been on my heart for awhile.

Thanks to Courtney I was reading Crazy Love yesterday when I came across this-
"Stress and Worry reek of arrogance"
What a slap in the face but so true!

So I'm trying not to worry about the outcome of my dream today!
I'm going to be Joyful no matter what happens because God said so.
To be honest I'm more scared of getting in than not.
We'll see!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Mental Dump

My heart is heavy. I'm tired. I'm excited I'm a mix of tons of emotions!

D-Now was this weekend and all in all was a success! I love how God will make sure everyone is where they need to be. Courtney and I had a last min change and were the leaders for 8 10th grade girls! Girls who love the Lord but are in high school and deal with real issues!!! It was such a blessing to be in the presence of the Lord this weekend, no matter how many bumps we went through to get there!

Iron/Blood- I'm out of iron/blood again. It stinks but it means more steak haha:)

I went on a real date which is always fun and exciting!

180- our 180 girls really impressed me this weekend! I love them!

I'm starving.