Wednesday, August 28, 2013

All because I ate a salad.

Once upon a time I ate some bagged salad. Unfortunately my choice to eat something heathly had consequences.  I apparently  had a salad  with a parasite in it.

The month of July and early August were awful. Cyclospora spread rapidly throughout the US. So it's only fitting that I would catch it. I "catch" everything ( but a man)

Apparently the parasite wrecked havoc on my already crappy immune system leaving me open to infections.

I currently have strep, both ears are infected, an upper respiratory infection, early pneumonia , a bladder infection and dangerously low iron. 

All that being said its not "just nerves" or "just satan" Or just my depression. It's just a weak immune system brought on my choice to eat a salad. So excuse me while I eat a Popsicle covered in chocolate :)

All of this because I ate a salad.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

"Biblical Womanhood"

 The terms "biblical and womanhood" scare me when they are alone, when used together the fear is enough to send me cowering in a corner. 

When I hear those term I automatically picture the bubbly mother with multiple kids in her impeccably neat home serving a meal she just made( from scratch) for her loving husband who jus got home from work. I think meek, mild, gentle women who say bless her heart and ill pray for you and actually mean it. The ladies with the perfectly teased hair, sparkly jewelry and never get antsy in the most uncomfortable of pews.
While I know that most  this is crazy talk and not what "biblical womanhood" means, its what I think about out of habit I guess.

How can I become this "virtuous" woman when I'm loud, ├╝ber emotional, find bathroom humor hilerious and have the temper of a 400 lb lineman. Then there's my weight, the fact that my ovaries hate me, my depression  and the whole baby maker not working properly thing.

This is why I have kicked screamed and cried my way through the first few weeks of this study. Not to mention that it's on Thursdays smack dab in the middle of my other small group I've loved for the past year and a half ( I know sacrifice is important, it's only a few weeks, yada yada yada). 
This  study is hard. Hard for me. Hard for moms. Hard for newlyweds.  Just hard. If it were easy we would all be excellent "help mates" running around making perfect babies. After a breakup maybe I just flipped a switch that said broken. No more help mate potential here, just a shell. Or maybe it happened in Australia during the surgeries and such. Or it could be just life but somewhere I changed and convinced myself that I will never be able to be one of those women.  Which brings me back to this study being hard and uncomfortable for me. 

It's so much easier to stay in my funny fat girl shell than strive to become this "biblical woman." 

Fat and funny are easy, and taste good too.......

Sunday, August 18, 2013

This weekend- August Church

When I was first approached about being apart of the church plant team I was apprehensive. I felt like I had nothing to offer plus I had just gotten comfortable and finally felt like I fit in with the people at North Village. For once since I've been in Austin I had friends. People I could enjoy the weekends and do things with without it being awkward everyone's single crap that goes on in churches these days. No longer was I spending every weekend alone in my room with a bag of chips....

I begged God not the make me leave or change when I had finally settled. Sadly after a few fits I shut up and listened.

It's not that I didn't love the church plant team, I just wanted the best of both worlds (sorry if I just got Hannah Montana in your head) and didn't want to lose my "family." I'd experienced it before after leaving Hillsong. I miss those people dearly and just don't like that feeling.

Well fast forward  through months of crazyness with jobs, cross country moves and back, emotional battles, and lots of laughs, heartache and tears.

August Church had its Charter and Commissioning service this weekend. It was powerful and emotional for me and God once again showed me just how much greater He is than I could ever imagine. Our elders were ordained, we were "sent out" with our Lights shining (candles), our Charter was signed and we were made totally official.

I also learned that my friendships here aren't based on what church I'm apart of. I had my small group supporting me from afar .  I know that God has allowed me to have the best of both worlds. I still have my friends and a new church family plus the greatest core team ever. Reid has said all along that he couldn't have hand picked a team like this and I now understand that it's just God. I feel like I finally got picked first by the best dodge ball player of all..... 
The Creator Himself. And he showed me tonight that I have the best of the best team mates.

And now pictures :)

Casey and I let worship on for our charter service hence the dressyness!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Crazy Morning

Sometimes I surprise myself with my stupidity.  

So because today is Friday I decided to make a big effort and do my hair and makeup. I mean why not  so I curled my hair the hip new way Abby taught me and make sure I looked refreshing and nice. I jammed to K-love and headed to work
At a stoplight downtown I realized I was cold.
After looking down I noticed that my legs were bare. Then trying to drive and look down I realized I was only wearing boy shorts and a tank top (pjs) To my horror I whipped into a parking lot and headed back home. By then traffic was horrible and the sun was coming up.
I straight up ran (more like shuffled) up the stairs into my apartment.  After realizing just how mortifying the whole morning was I sat in my living room floor and laughed/cried.
I then put on work appropriate clothes and headed back to the land of traffic.

I know they say some peoples brains don’t work as well as others when stressed. Considering what could have happened I’m thankful I noticed before I walked into work.

I’m going home and sleeping this evening!