Thursday, July 26, 2012

Sappy Love Songs

But if you ever get lonely and you miss me,
If you need someone to listen.
Even if it’s only the sound of someone’s voice who loves you
If that you need to hear, you know where to find me
If you ever get lonely.

-Love and Theft

Good song

So don't try to tell me I'll stop hurting
And don't try to tell me she ain't worth it

Cause you don't know her like I do

You'll never understand
You don't know we've been through
That girl's my best friend
And there's no way you're gonna help me
She's the only one who can
No, you don't know how much I've got to lose
You don't know her like I do
- Brantley Gilbert

I dont know why I'm spending my Thursday night being a loser. Maybe I'm just in a "I miss" mood listening to sappy love songs. I should be young and carefree but instead im sitting on my bed writing to what seems like no one. Ugh. I need a tougher heart!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Back on the Bandwagon

Well I jumped off the Bandwagon. Like took a leap from the wagon into a giant pool of Dr Pepper and fried food. I know that sounds appealing to all of yall :)

Anyways now I'm back. I have about 2 Months until my 5k journeys begin and I think Im a crazy person.

Many of you have been asking about the biggest loser. No I didn't receive a call back but honestly once I was in line I knew that I wouldn't. I knew that I needed to be there and experience the process for God to show me some things, Not so I could compete and win $250,000  fall in love and have babies.- which is always the end goal JKJK

This is from my journal while I was sitting in line.

I'm sitting in line with one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. I was going to give her, her sister and her mom a ride when I saw them walking a few blocks but when I got closer I was like no way I don't want to be next to her when I audition. So who am I in line with, the pretty one.
I was so overcome with emotion driving up to the venue today because of the line. The wheel chairs, walkers, canes for people my age. The grandmas and grandpas who can't hold their Grandchildren. The moms who can't chase their kids around.... Am I selfish for wanting to be here? So many people need to be here more than me, if i wasn't so tired I'd just drive home. People will think I've failed though. You never know if you don't try I guess, but I've proven I can loose the weight alone I just wanted to have fun and win some money on top of getting healthy. I've already had multiple comments in line of why are you here, your not that big. I told one lady but I bet I weigh more than you. Everyone carries their weight differently and guess what? I weight 14 lbs more than her.

I was talking to some people and said Gosh I have so much nervous energy I could go run around the block. The same lady I was discussing my weight with said "B&$*% if you can run around the block then you need to get out of line"  Gosh, was she right? Do I need to be here or do I just need to stop being lazy. I have some will power. I have support and if I'd stop buying Starbucks I might even could afford a gym. Why am I here? Lord please show me why I'm here, How I got this way and How I can loose the weight, be healthy, and not loose sight of You. Why am I here?

I was there because God needed to show me what my future might look like if I didn't get off my rear. I was there so that I could enjoy the experience.

Anyways. We live in Kyle now.

144 Marquitos Drive
Kyle, Texas 78640

I have not quite adjusted to the commute yet, Its about the same distance but I'm in IH35 traffic and there is no way around it, to make matters worse it differs. I never know if I'm going to spend 30-60 mins in the car each way. Oh well! More time to jam I guess. I'll adjust and figure out how to best manage my Road Rage and stress while in the car- Thanks dad. one of the many things I got from him like my lack of rear and chins ;)

Anyways all if well I  should be blogging more now :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Greg and Aunt Jerilynn's Birthdays!

Today and Tomorrow are two of the coolest people I knows birthdays!

My Aunt has always spoiled me with Garth Brooks Tickets, Trips, Games, lots and lots of food both when I was young and now old! She has graciously opened her home and fridge to me (Twice now) and all of my friends no matter what! She is the most caring and thoughtful person I know.
I'm so grateful she shares her babies with me so that I too can have someone greet me when I get home
I can't thank her enough for all that she does for me.

After meeting Greg he quickly became my best friend here in Austin. He delt with lots and lots of tears and crazyness on my part. He made me laugh, made me cry, and even made me food a few times. He loves my cooking even when its bad and is about the only person who can beat me at the music game in the car. I honestly didn't realize how much I truley cared for him until after things had changed and he wasn't in Austin anymore. I miss him terribly but know that he is right where God wants Him. Landing in Dallas this weekend was some what emotional for me to know that I was so close yet so far away from my bestfriend!  Happy Birthday Grego. I miss you like crazy.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Homesick- Snyder, Sydney, and Savannah

Its about 3:00 AM now and I can't sleep. I got up for water around 2:30 and tripped over a box in the living room waking the whole house making a ruckus. I guess this is hows its going to be for awhile. I hate waking people up, its killing me not to go lay in the bathtub but I don't want to wake anyone up again. booo thin walls and living with other people. I know thats a silly goal to have by one day I'll be able to take a bath at 3 without feeling guilty about who I wake up, I know they wouldn't care but I feel bad.

I'm homesick like no bodys business. I have turned into a 6 year old girl with anxiety and emotions coming from all levels for lots of people from lots of places, mostly Snyder, Sydney, and Savannah.

Tonight while Skyping with my mom I was crying and begging her to plan and save so that we could both go home for the 4th next year. All the while laughing at my self saying I needed to suck it up.
What 25 year old crys about not doing something, then I realized my 49 year old mother was upset too. Maybe its just the 4th in snyder. Since my cry fest I've seen 3 other posts on facebook about people doing the same thing. Snyder goes all out for the 4th. My friend Blake and I decided when we were little no matter how famous we got we would always come home from the 4th. Now here I am 25 and NOT famous crying about it. I know I could just get in the car and drive home for the day but i know it wont be the same. Not without Brandon and my mom. Those are my 4th buddies. I've watched the fireworks with them and Coach Porter for as long as I can remember.

Hillsong Conference started yesterday. Those guys have been on my heart like crazy, so I figured I'd watch a little backstage action when I saw JARED walk by the screen. Imagine my suprise when he texted and said he had to go by again... I got to see him TWICE. It was so funny, I half laughing half crying ran in there and told my aunt and g-ma who probably thought I was crazy but It was a nice pick me up for me! I've always been a firm believer that God helps me out with the little things! Now if God could just allow me to bump into another friend while in DFW in a few weeks it will be all good :) WINK WINK HINT HINT GOD lol.

My little sister (who lives in Savannah, GA) had a car accident today. Thankfully she is okay but it could have been bad. I saw the picture of her car on FB, then started reading and panicked before I could finish the sentence about her being okay. Shes a lucky one! It made me think about how short life is thought, and how blessed we are. I need to get on a plane. I need to stop worrying about money and believe that God will take care of that need. Hes put them on my heart for awhile now and I can't seem to find the time or the money to go visit. Ive always felt like a crappy sister/friend/daughter/granddaughter because I just can't go see them whenever I please.