Sunday, December 19, 2010

Stand up? Sit Down?

Hillsong. Holy spirit. God. Home. Passion i don't know what it is but it ruined me :D

How can we sit with our arms folded while we sing about the Birth of our Lord. Trust me I didn't want to stand up. Uhhhhhh I didn't want to  have  the whole congregation looking at my big rear end but I couldnt sit another second! I laughed at myself during joy to the world, why I was bouncing and moving. Silly me didn't care.
I worship how I worship....

I thought of my mom this morning. She used to get super excited during Christmas songs and patriotic music and I would be like "mom stop moving", or "do you not know your the only one clapping?" or "why are you crying it's just a song." Thanks mom for being embarrassing yet planting the seeds of worship in me, no matter how much I wanted you to stop!

I realize I make my FBC congregation to sound like fuddy duddy. They really aren't!!!!  I think out pews are too comfortable because I know the Holy Spirit runs through this place.  I love these people and am in no way saying the way each person chooses to Worship is right or wrong. I'm just saying that for me personally today I couldn't sit still. Next week I may not stand at all.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Where do I fit God?

okay God
Where do I fit in?
 Somewhere in-between Snyder and Sydney I guess.

People told me when I left I wouldn't be the same when I came back. They warn you at school that home is often a battlefield. well I sure don't fit in on this battle ground anymore.

I had to grow up and be slightly independent in Sydney. I had to learn how not to lean on mom or g-ma my friends or family. just God.  I learned how to go to the dr alone.  eat alone. walk alone.  fend for myself ect. God knew exactly what he was doing allowing me to go through this past season "alone" slowly learning how to lean solely on HIM.

well I'm back in the real world. Out of my little bubble and now realize I can't relate to people. I spent so much time focusing on fixing myself and growing ect I must have forgotten how to be human in the real world. Funny.

People keep telling me I'm different. I know that. I would hope that 5 months with intense spiritual classes would do that to someone. I'm glad I've changed. whether you think its for the better or worse I'm still glad.

Many of you keep asking me how I'm doing and I say okay. I'm not good and I'm not bad. I'm just okay. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I'm just hanging out getting trapped and lost in trying to please everyone from snyder to sydney. Its an awesome awesome pain in my neck,  honestly I wouldn't want to change it.

My prayer is that through all the "changes", "your different's", and awkwardness that the people I come across would see a small glimpse of God light in me.

Even if I don't fit in.



Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Summer Summer Summer time.... I mean Christmas :)

welp Its summer break for us Hillsong College kiddos.... Sadly I'm in Texas... where its abnormally cold :)

So what have I been up to?
Adjusting to life back in Snyder.
Its crazy to think that I could come back and fit right in. I for sure don't. Probably never will but thats okay!
God is making it easier for me to drop everything in the home I love and continue to follow his plan for my life! He has a funny way of doing things in my book.

I sang on the square with our praise team which was  quite southern and I got to sing Winter Snow.
Here is a craptasticly awesome video

Small town Greatness!!!!

Glad my people came out to support me!