No Biggest Loser, Makeover, and other ramblings

Its that time again. The time of year where my news feed, twitter, and email fill up about biggest loser castings and such. Unfortunatlly I will not be auditioning this year. I just feel like its what God wants me to focus on right now. With that being said I’m not going to make any promises I can’t keep. I’ve been working so much there isn’t as much time to run as I used to. Ive been walking and doing stretching in the mornings. I also have a few 5k’s 8, and even a 10k on my radar.

Yesterday was rough for me emotionally and mentally. I got my hair done at the salon and was so so nervous. I trusted Jason ( colorist) and Chelsey (stylist) to not make me look like a fool but it was just hard. I know my beauty comes from within but after donating my hair a few months ago I just haven’t felt it.

I may be fat but I had great hair and great eyes. That’s what I’ve told myself since about 16 so to mess with my hair was a big no no for me.

After my makeover, I had a new bounce in my step, and compliment after compliment. I couldn’t sleep last night ( what else is new), and was just laying in bed thinking when my best friend self hate started to whisper in my ear.  Do y’all ever have those nights? I know my joy and strength comes from the Lord so this morning I just tried to push all those thoughts out and own my new do ;)

I’m burning out. I’m not made to work 60 hrs a week, my mom keeps reminding me it hasn’t even been a full month yet. This morning they mentioned some changes to hours at the salon and I immediately wanted to cry. Noooo I need the money, more work more work more work. Funny how I had already forgotten that I sat in the car and prayed this morning that God would give me a break if I needed it. I may be getting one. I really just want a full day off, maybe two haha

I’m struggling with the Overcome the Lie Challenge. I’m so tired by the time I get home I can’t think enough to sit down and write which is the whole reason I did this in the first place. So I could document my 40 days. One of the hardest lies that we are working to overcome have to do with my voice and weight. So we shall (hopefully) see what comes of those soon.

I’m homesick for Snyder and Sydney heaps these days…………….. But seeing my Grandparents and my little brother Graduate is more important at this moment. What’s the point of 60 hour weeks if you don’t spend time with people you love. Praying that it all works out ;)