Friday, October 9, 2015

Self Control at 3:30 AM

It was 3:18 when I woke up to the sound of my stomach growling this morning. Something I've gotten used to in the past few weeks of being on this diet..... or lifestyle change as people keep reminding me. I constantly eat but am never full and always craving something I cant have.  Its times like theses that I try find peace in the fact that this is hard and no one expects it to be easy. If it was easy obesity would be such a problem. Alcholohics cut out alcohol, druggies - their drug of choice. I'm not comparing my food issues with a serious illness or addiction but you get the point. They aren't hit with the temptation everywhere they turn, in their own homes, grocery stores, entertainment etc... I so wish I could cut out food all together but that's just not an option.
 I am currently
Dairy- we all know how much I love cheese
Nuts, Seeds
Nightshades ( I bet half of you don't even know what that is- I didn't) - Tomatoes, peppers and anything with flavor it seems like
Did I mention all meat should be grass fed (I'm currently not working so this just isn't an option money wise)
and those are just the big ones
The diet ( I mean lifestyle change) I'm on is the Autoimmune Paleo Protocol which I high recommend to  anyone with arthritis, autoimmune, and other inflammatory diseases

There is a half gallon of my favorite chocolate mint chip ice cream in the freezer... Mom was given a glorious box of chocolate for her birthday and then did a crappy job of hiding them ( though she tried). These temptations are all around me. Hello Self Control. I'm so thankful that God provided some money to do this diet with, I haven't gotten a refund check in years due to student loans but suddenly it shows up. That being said I'm hungry and sick and tired, it would be so much easier to buy some $1 bread and be full than $30 worth of veggies that need to be cooked. I hate to just be venting but its my blog so I'm allowed :)

I've been praying and have downloaded a few sermons on self control. Self Control is a fruit of the spirit I just don't have.
Good news is though, its working. The majority of my gastrointestinal issues have stopped- which is a miracle after spending all summer basically in the bathroom. I haven't actually eaten the ice cream that is in the freezer- I have my $6 a tiny thing of coconut, dairy, soy, gluten free crap right next to it. that most mean some of my prayers are working. Did I put a tiny bit of barbeque sauce on my discusting AIP pulled pork today- maybe. It was better than the alternative though.

I'm learning. This isn't going to happen over night for me. I'm reversing years and years of bad eating habits. I'm trying though, that should count for something

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there it will be worth it in the long run. Love you.