Philippians 1:3, 4 lbs lost, and my usual ramblings

Gosh I can’t believe it’s been a week since I blogged. Blogging is such a stress relief I’m surprised I haven’t done more of it lately. 

4lbs lost this week! 2 lbs to go to be back at where I was, I never dreamed I could gain weight so fast. Oops

 I went ahead and did step one of the biggest loser process… now to make a video  and actually show up at the casting call. I know it sounds silly for me to keep bringing it up but I’ve really been praying if God can use me and teach me in such a crazy way then so be it. If not I’ll just keep on my quest for a 5k though its much harder lately. I need to make more time to run/walk/jog but I’m just so tired. I finally watched some TV last night from last week and I’m not usually like that. I went all week last night without turning the TV on. Woah.

I almost died my hair the other night. I know its so silly but my grays are coming out in full force. I figure I’ll just go with it a little longer. My hair is just starting to look normal again and I’m itching to cut or color it. I feel like its an easy way to make a change to my outward appearance. I’ve been reading “ The Confident Woman Devotional” its been helping somewhat. I’m just in a funk. I can’t hear God. I know He is there but I feel like He’s saying I’ve given you the tools make the right decisions.  I also feel like God has put people in my life for a reason so I should probably  take advantage of these women.

I’m supposed to have my first week on the praise team on Sunday. Words can’t explain how excited I am to be singing again. Not that I don’t worship at church, in my car, at work ect.. but it’s different. I’m sad I can’t see some of my family that’s meeting at my PaPa’s but I NEED to sing lol. It means a ton to me that so many people in this new church support me without knowing me. I mean they know me now but they don't know know me. I was at a women's bible study last night and just started crying in the middle of discussion on Philippians. No reason just tears. I felt like a fool but no one said anything thank goodness. I was reading Philippians 1:3 I thank God every time I remember you. That is most likely what did it also because we had to read it over and over. Maybe I'll use that as my verse on Greg's quilt. It was awesome for me to see the love that Paul had for these people, his friends in Christ, in his letter.

I’ve been dealing with the person I feel that’s inside of me and how I need to get there. How can I be a better version of myself? The Woman that God made me. Not the woman that so and so wants, or who I think I should be, who my family wants me to be, how I could find a husband or get someone to love me. The person that God made me to be, I want to be her.