wow what a week. I know that most of you, adults at least, have worked two jobs at some point in their life. I on the other hand haven't..... and I'm tired. Utterly exhausted. I haven't done any walking, jogging, or barre3 workouts this week, unless you count in my sleep last night from 5-6 I ran a mile on a track. Sad there are no tracks around here.
I feel sloppy. Its so hard to take a lunch that you know you can eat in the car without warming it up or anything, I had wheat thins and cracker chips a few days then said screw it and got some fried chicken. That was a big no no. The next day my body was screaming for veggies so I finally made it to the store and had squash, zucchini, and broccoli. I know that the choice to eat healthy is a decision and some days you just mess up but I don't like how I feel after messing up. The Free Frosty the salesman brought me just wasn't worth eating... after two bites I tossed it in the trash. I wish I had more willpower.
Its been one of those weeks where I just cry and ask God why life isn't turning out the way I planned. Why aren't I happy ect... I caught a glimpse of old sarah at praise team auditions this week, she came out for one chorus of "Hosanna" then went ran away.
It's tough! With all the progress I have made I am still hard on myself. I should be able to run farther, lift more, be more disciplined in my diet etc. I also have to remember that it took me 15 plus years to get to my worst, and that my goals are going to take time. There will be good days and bad days, period. I also have to remember that I am doing this for God's glory, and not my own. I desperately desire to get fit so that I will be happier with myself, that women will find me more attractive, and that I will have something to boast about. But I know that is only idolatry, and that my true joy & happiness only come knowing that I am loved and accepted by Jesus with all of my flaws.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!! It will not be easy, and quite frankly some days will suck. But it will be worth it. Take each day at a time, and hang in there! - Michael F.